Oct 11, 2008
To Live Is An Adventure
| To die is easy We all know it's coming. Not when or where, we even have worries of how. I've had worries of how. But it's moments that when you know you're alive that make those thoughts dissipate. When you believe. When you trust. When you know. When is the most important aspect of most peoples' lives. It shouldn't be, but it is. People remember where they were when they first kissed, attended their first funeral, got laid, or whatever nostalgic moment you prefer. But everyone can measure their life in When and Who and Where. To measure life in Why, now that is the challenge. To measure life by that is to openly endorse your own insanity. Many have asked Why, only to be answered with silence, with contradiction, with madness. There are some things in this world that do not require Why, religion seems to be one of them. Blind belief, the one thing I've fought so hard to no succumb to, I did. I compromised. I did so in believing without asking, I rectified that problem as swiftly as I could. So I asked, I asked Erin why she was with me, why she wanted to be with me and I re-found myself. Who I really am, in the thought that people are still replaceable, but only to an extent. People will inherently want attention, we are most attracted to those that give it, no matter who they are. Who is derived from Why. Who you are is to understand Why you do the things you do. I know who I am. I know who you are. Why you feel the way you do and why you hurt, why you smile and why you cry. It's why every time I try to think things through, to be just what you wanted me to be, it goes awry. To figure it out took me until this morning. I'm hoping it marks the end of the sleepless nights. I don't believe it blindly. I know Why I am so stuck on you and why you can't quit me. It's because we know Why. I can only profess my side of things. I can only tell you that I've never had what I do with anyone. You'd think with knowing I'd get bored. But you're too much fun to be bored of. You're too persistent to I once lived my life to the content that if I died tomorrow, what I wanted would be known and done. Too bad that I'll not have that feeling for a while. But I do know that my belief in you is completely founded on who you are and not some fairytale of what I hope or what I dream. I Know. It's a feeling I plan to live with for a very long time. |
Oct 10, 2008
New Surrender
| So I said I'd do an album review for the new Anberlin CD. Especially considering how giddy I was to get it and my autographed vinyl too. But I can't say it doesn't disappoint. I come from the school of needing to change your style at least a little over the course of a musical career to give a little credibility to your musical range. Unfortunately, their range just went extremely hipster. This is like the last Lost Prophets album. You can still tell exactly how good they are, it just feels like they were being pushed into that direction by someone behind the scenes and it wasn't genuine band-rocking-outing. Though I won't bash the album nor the band. I think they've taken a step closer to pop than towards rock, which attracted me to them in the first place. They seemed to have a great balance going on there. They have their lyrical brilliance and their musical brilliance. Most of the album, the two are broken up from track to track, but there are songs where it all comes together and I can't help but close my eyes and shake my head and think THIS is what they're supposed to sound like. There do seem to be a few throw away tracks, which I didn't feel they had in their last full length studio album Cities so I am a little disappointed in the direction that they chose to take musically. The rock roots still seep through on tracks like The Resistance and Feel Good Drag. Which, strangely enough, Drag is their first single, but it is a remake, of their own song off a previous album. So I'm not sure if I should be patting them on the back for being able to make it marketable now that people know who they are, or to hate them for repackaging old music into this album. But then again, Lost Songs was nothing more than re-recordings and acoustic versions... All this aside, I can still take a step back and look it over and say, "God dammit they still do this pop/rock juggling act better than anyone else could." 7.5/10 Speak for yourself You paper tigers You crash where you stand You've got a riot on your hands |
Oct 8, 2008
Tribalation
| Seriously, I'd rather have a great white shark give me fellatio than have to sit through that class again. Hell, I'd rather give that shark fellatio than sit through that class again, who am I kidding? This is the famed Hannah Montana class here people: Seriously, if it's not the students pissing me off. Being a fucking spazz who can't keep his reactions to himself or at least not being such an uptight tool who seems destined to become a door to door bible salesman. Not to mention his incessant love for NASCAR, god that was one tough presentation to stomach. Even worse, was this other jackoff's incessant need to talk about Madden and then fantasy football. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fantasy geek, I have 2 hockey teams (championship!) along with 2 football and 2 basketball teams. But fuck I wouldn't go off explaining what the hell it is, interrupt the group presentation just to go to yahoo! sign in and show off my team. Fucking christ, sometimes the incessant jock/guy-dom/masochistic pisses me off. Not to mention he thought it necessary to explain what the fuck ESPN is, not only that, but what Sports Center is. Thanks Capt. Obvious, we're working on your promotion to 1st Lieutenant! Fucking clod. Even better, was a girl's reaction to the extremely pig headed moron presenting. The one of eventful rage and interrupting to call him a "fucking sexist pig." I just couldn't NOT have fun with this for the rest of the class. Bringing up cliche's and getting threats and compliments piled from her. Such beauties as "I like you, you're quiet, don't talk and make me want to kill you." Yeah, amazing. Then, she turns to my British friend Mike and says, "I wouldn't hurt you, I like your accent." Only further perpetuating the extreme prejudice that funky accents are cool. So fast forward to two hours later... unfortunately... it's the same fucking class still... and the professor gets to talking about Tiger Woods and his multi-cultural heritage of being tai-black-caucasian etc etc. So the teacher wants to come up with a hypothetical mix... and yes, you guessed it, he writes down that this Mr. X is a quarter Jewish. So immediately I have to intercede and tell him that it's bullshit and Judaism is a religion and not an ethnic background nor heritage. So he basically does nothing deflect the question because he has a Jewish mother. Which I also highly doubt because the guy is NOT Jewish in faith. NOT JEWISH IN FAITH MEANS YOU ARE NOT A JEW. FUCK! Anywho, extremely cute girl corners me outside after class and thanks me for chiming in because that's exactly how she felt too... which is fine, except a little back-up so I don't sound/look like an anti-semite in the middle of class would've been more helpful. So awkward silence ensues, BritMike chimes in that we should start drinking in a few. I agree, notice that she's still standing there... apparently I was supposed to say or do something else... I think I'm the master at promoting awkward silences and situations with girls. It's a gift. But the obvious truth, is that I don't want that with anyone else other than smurfette. |
Oct 5, 2008
 If I never get out of bed, nothing bad can happen right? |
Oct 4, 2008
The Weekly 90's Hour
| 90's songs, that's my only requirement. That and no cursing! Will be played Saturday nights 10pm-11pm EST! Streaming live video by Ustream |
Oct 3, 2008
You'll Be Just Fine
| I don't know the meaning. But it's what's been suggested and tossed onto my doorstep like a newspaper. I don't know how people can think that. Things have never really gone right in my life. As soon as something good happens some one or thing comes along to tank those good feelings. Not that I'm saying today was a good day before the tanking started, but it sure made it plain to see that the more I sleep, the quicker it goes by, the closer November and December will get here, the better. You can fall out of the sky when your head's in the clouds. So when people try to yank me back down I don't mind it. The landing is easier if you don't really get off the ground. When nothing's there to keep me glued to the floor, I find myself adding weights to make sure I control myself. I've been doing that for a while now, I don't want another fall from grace. I don't think I have much choice when it comes to you, I am amazed when you're happy, sappy, pissy, nosey, jealous and sweet. Simple as that. I love you when you're mad, when you curse, when you laugh and when you feel hurt. When it rains, when it shines, when it's windy, and when you make me sleep through my afternoons. No reason will ever make sense of it to you or to me using words. Reason works on rational thoughts and love is not a rational thought. It is an emotion, emotion overshadows reason, reason doesn't matter the feeling's the same. I wouldn't change it if I could. |
Oct 2, 2008
A Perfect Disaster
| Yeah, so my flash design class bores me because I'm completely and utterly not interested. So I've not gone/done any work for the class all year. I'll tell you a little tale that goes horribly wrong when I left my room last night... Stopped by the mail room, guess what came. Besides me in my pants, because the new Anberlin CD finally arrived!! Not only that, but I also got an autographed vinyl single. Needless to say, I was elated walking into the computer lab to bang out this group of ridiculous project that I interviewed women about women's rights. I know, they have the right to remain in the kitchen, how about that? Anywho, I was creating title graphics and resizing photos when I realized, I suck at this and opened up my instant messenger to talk to a fellow student of the class who's better equipped to do my work for me. Somehow, I stumble into a conversation with a girl writing an article for the school paper. Just so happens that the topic of writing was.... buttsex. Hurrah freaking laughing hurrah. So I've finished listening to Anberlin's new stuff, it's good, not great, but good, I'm sure it will grow on me and I'll properly review it sooner or later. But anyway, I take the CD out of the drive and look to go back to work when... the computer has frozen. Frozen with a buttsex conversation smack dab in the middle of it and a good hour and a half of work in the background, unsaved. So what am I supposed to do? I want to get this project done asap, so I have no choice but to call a lab assistant over to see if they have a way to restart the computer without all my work auto-deleting. As expected the girl knew not a fucking thing and just decide to press the restart button on the tower, oh don't worry it was just enough time to read the conversation on the screen and go back to the front desk and squeal/point out "that's the guy" as I leave the lab, sans completed work. At least I didn't forget my stuff there. Now that would've been a catastrophic day. |
Sep 29, 2008
Wonderful World We Live In!
| PETA is full of a bunch of douchebags. I've said this for years. You want to know how I know I'm right? Of course you do. Because they protested about KFC mistreating chickens that were destined for one and only one thing, slaughter. I contest that they were just tenderizing ahead of time. Come on, have you really noticed a difference in the way the chicken tastes? I could even contend it was better when they were "mis-treating" the chix! *licks fingers* abuse tastes pretty good. But now, no, they've gone a step further. A step I didn't even know could be taken. They want Ben 'n' Jerry's to start using HUMAN breast milk instead of cow milk. WHAT this helps with I have NO IDEA. Other than a graphic image of some 30+ broad hooked up to pumps going into my ice cream. No thanks, seriously, it'd be a good way to tank the industry. Think about it, do you want breast milk? Nobody does, unless they come out with a quarterly journal that rivals Playboy, I don't want woman secretion in my ice cream! Are the cows really forming unions and protesting farmers' cold hands to PETA? Or are they just huge douchebags and want to feel important when in all reality, we know they're not. It's not like you actually have to do anything harmful to the cow to get milk. So milking cows is still a-okay for butter, cream cheese, Oreos and cake, but ice cream is a no-no? Sonofabitch you gotta be making this stuff up!! I contend that the same asshole who started Scientology started PETA. It's the only logical solution! Pretty soon we're just going to be eating other dead humans because animals have more rights. Yeah, the right to taste even better with barbecue sauce. Pass the soylent green. |
Sep 26, 2008
Requests
| 90's songs, that's my only requirement. That and no cursing! Will be played Saturday nights 10pm-midnight EST! Streaming live video by Ustream |
Sep 25, 2008
Dear North Dakota,
| I can't stand working in big groups. Namely because of people. People who're obviously not interested or just plain suck at what they're supposed to do. Mostly the first part. Like scheduling a meeting time and being the only one there for a half hour. Or being endlessly harassed for test results (or if they can take it because they decided not to show up) when I'm obviously not an authority figure in that aspect of the class. I think I've had to answer the phone with "who is this" more times in the past 2 days than I have in the past year. My sleep schedule is so funky I couldn't draw it up or execute it on my own. I know it seems like forever since we talked or joked around, because it really has been. I hope you've found something fun to do in your town, besides the endless slew of projects that I'm too drained to get done on time, I've been spending most of my time laying in bed, hoping that maybe I'll promptly fall asleep and it'll be May and I can get the hell out of here. Though my last two test results indicate it may take me longer than that. Or maybe I should just cut the shit and come to terms that, right now, I don't have the mental capacity to be in school. But even if I do that, I have nowhere to go to help. I have nothing but bad memory after bad memory chasing me down. Not to mention a huge distraction that I just can never seem to get a clean reading on. I don't know what I want to do, where I want to call home, or who I want to become after I finish school. I feel like my education stopped as soon as my head wrapped around you all those years ago. I used to be an A+ student until I met you. Always, Mike |