Oct 3, 2005
Wake Me Up
| I had the weirdest dream last night. It's not one that I'm keen on sharing, but I'm going to do so anyways: I used to visit the two local music stores quite often in between my graduation from high school and departing for college. Well it was at one of these store I end up in the bass section and I'm just fiddling around with a few that are potential rocking out-ers for me. When it happens, a girl just walks into the corridor, almost runs me over, and keeps going down the hall (its a dream, its gonna be weird). She turns back and helps me lift my ass off the ground and its her. The girl I've been oh so hard to block out of my mind and forget. But it's not that easy, not when she's your first love, not when you've been through a social hell and still come away with the girl of your dreams. Not when you lose her and all your left to do is dream. I thought I was dreaming, but she reassured me I wasn't. I asked what she was doing at a music store, she was looking for me. She had found me, she had explained all the things she had done for the time that we'd spent apart. Explained how some things worked and some things didn't in her life. And how maybe she wanted me back... I'm not one to take someone back from a broken off relationship. I told her so and she didn't seem that disappointed, like she knew it was coming. The only reply she had was to pull me in and kiss me again. I melted on the spot; as I had always when we kissed. There is no other girl that is as compatible with kissing me, as she was. I mean it was always perfect. I was always afraid that if I did kiss her, it wouldn't be all I'd hoped it would; she had proven me wrong in that instance. I still remember every time I kissed her and told her I loved her, I still remember all the cute little nicknames and the frivolous tickling and the mis-use of a winky face. I still remember it all like yesterday. But it's not yesterday, and it's not today and it won't be tomorrow. I realized after kissing her that the only explanation was that this was a dream. But I desperately hoped that I wouldn't wake up. I hope that when I die, that's the type of forever dream I have. Because it's so much better than any dream I've had before. It filled all the false hopes back up, the ones that had died over the past two years without her. I hate myself for letting this happen. It was only a dream, but now I've been reminded of what I'm missing. It feels almost as if a part of me I was just getting back has left again. A part of me that doesn't want anything to do with the opposite sex is back. I didn't like that time period of feeling that way. I don't much think I'll like the feeling of being alone when I know someone like her is out there. That maybe there's someone else like her out there. And I'm still here, alone. Thrice - Ultra Blue |
posted by Mike at 3:46 PM
