May 31, 2005
The Old Man
| Oh my child... of 21 Don't give up... my only son. You'll grow old and then you'll know how it is to be so cold. I never wanted to go away but I was told, I couldn't stay. Go my child... only 44 Don't give up... there's so much more. you're growing old, soon you'll know what it's like to be so cold. I never wanted to go away but I was told I couldn't stay. The days get shorter the years slide by. the crimson... disappears from the sky. you've grown old and now you know who'll you'll be... oh my child... of 63 you've got to live this life, without me. so cold, so cold. Oh I'm sorry that I have to go. |
Did I Mention I'm in a Book?
Quite some time ago, there was this anguished kid who lost the girl that he was in love with, little did he know that that heartbreak, that despair, would be the inspiration and motivation for a little poem he wrote and had published... The poem was deemed good enough to be placed first in the entire book. The kid still thinks that the poem is a piece of shit. Maybe one day he'll write again, maybe one day the stuff he writes will be better than mediocre. |
May 28, 2005
I've Been Finding This On A Few Blogs...
| 10 YEARS AGO I… 1. was really short. 2. was a straight A student. 3. had a killer baseball card collection. 4. still played baseball. 5. moved to whitesboro. TWO YEARS AGO I… 1. was in high school. 2. wanted to be an artist. 3. fell in love. 4. got in a car crash. 5. still played baseball. ONE YEAR AGO I… 1. got accepted into fredonia. 2. went to my first matthew good concert. 3. went to cancun. 4. fell from a 2nd story window. 5. read the entire lord of the rings trilogy in 3 weeks. YESTERDAY I… 1. worked for 5 hours. 2. got kicked out of the mall for sitting. 3. mowed the lawn (aka killed dandelions). 4. made myself a grilled cheese sandwhich! 5. i developed what's known as depression. TODAY I… 1. woke up before 10am. 2. still haven't taken a shower. 3. got a half hour lecture about how i'm a selfish human being. 4. ate an english muffin. 5. showed my parents my grades. TOMORROW I WILL… 1. be alone. 2. get another lecture on how i'm selfish. 3. wake up before 8am. 4. probably play bass. 5. get out of this house. FIVE ITEMS I HAVE BRAND LOYALTY TO 1. Pepsi 2. Verizon 3. Sony 4. Ampeg 5. Spector 5 SNACKS I ENJOY 1. CHEEZ ITS! 2. frosted poptarts 3. salt and vinegar chips 4. anything chocolate 5. oreos FIVE THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT 1. Oxygen 2. Food 3. Clothing 4. The lappy 5. the night sky I WOULD BUY WITH $1,000 1. A new amp. 2. Original STAR WARS Trilogy (wink wink lindsay). 3. I'd pay off some of my loans. 4. Butterfinger. 5. A Bottle of Vodka. FIVE BAD HABITS I HAVE 1. Not sleeping. 2. Not caring. 3. Sitting downstairs. 4. Not working out more. 5. Not doing homework. FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR 1. A dress. (obviously) 2. Anything from GAP. 3. A ring. 4. Shorts. 5. Nailpolish. FIVE SHOWS I LIKE 1. Comedy Central Presents 2. Family Guy 3. Spongebob 4. Futurama 5. Dragonball Z (or) GT FIVE PLACES I'VE LIVED 1. Frankfort, NY 2. Whitesboro, NY 3. Fredonia, NY 4. 5. THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: 1. Michael 2. Mike 3. (only to two people) Mikey THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. Hair (when it's long and messy). 2. Natural video game ability. 3. Being able to take punishment. THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: 1. I hate my legs. 2. My eyes. 3. My complete lack of memory skills. THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: 1. Italian 2. Native American 3. uhhh i dont have a third.... THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: 1. My repetetive nightmares. 2. Losing the people that are closest to me. 3. Being alone. THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: 1. Music 2. Silence 3. Sitting by the fireplace. THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: 1. Pajama pants. 2. Sandals. 3. Narragansett shirt. THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS: 1. MG +/- B 2. FUEL 3. TRUSTcompany THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: 1. Unloco "Empty" 2. TRUSTcompany "Stronger" 3. Gorillaz "Feel Good Inc." THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS 1. Go to sleep early. 2. Probably Community College. 3. To live a decent life. THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: 1. Someone that understands me just a little. 2. To know when it's time to say goodbye. 3. Someone that doesn't mind balling up on the couch with the fireplace roaring and maybe watching a movie. |
May 26, 2005
Shoot Me Now. Now. Now.
| I've been stuck at home. GOD THIS TOWN SUCKS DICK. You have no idea how rediculous it is to just a get a friggin job outside of fucking food. I don't want to work with food anymore, I did a nice place for over a year, I did the lowliest of McDonald's for 4 months. I don't want to do it anymore, yet that's the only available job in this town for someone with no college education. I'll be accepting applications for a roomate if ANYONE wants to move ANYWHERE with me. I just have to get out of this place. Now I know where my depression comes from. |
I've Said It Before, I'll Say It Again
I am 10% Idiot. I am not annoying at all. In fact most people come to me for advice. Of course they annoy the hell out of me. But what can I do? I am smarter than most people. |
May 23, 2005
SUNY Get The Fuck Out of Here
| Well... a 1.51 cumulative GPA isn't stellar, but I nearly raised my GPA a whole point, from a measley 1.16 to a marginal 1.91 and I'm still booted. I don't understand how I'm advised and told that even if I couldn't get my grades up high enough I was still guaranteed one last semester in the fall. Apparently not: Academic Dismissal. While I look over all of my grades and classes, I realize that I was retarded in trusting my advisor. I failed one class this semester, statistics, at 8am, a 200 level psychology course that early in the morning. I was never told that it was a 200 level class and would never have taken it if I had known. I just find this out as I recieve grades, a little late? yah. Well now I'm screwed, big time. |
May 21, 2005
Then I Am A Jedi
| Just watched The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and The Revenge of the Sith in the past 12 hours. Needless to say, I know why Lucas did not release these movies first. Nobody likes to be left hanging after a trilogy is completed. I felt so much for Anakin in this movie I was scared that I too would have made the same choices that he did. All for the one he loves. That was his only thought, that was what made him so irrational. I'm spent, no more emotional trips today, time for some benadryl allergy, some food, and a long awaited nap. Go see the frickin movie! |
Star Wars
| So as the hype has been building up, I've been hearing some things about the prior movies that is quite disturbing to me. I just spent the last few hours watching the first movie of the whole saga. I cannot conceive how it is bashable! It contains just about everything that a movie should. I still almost start ballin during the scene where Anakin leaves his mother. It's just that I've been one of those people that always contemplates the worst case scenario of everything. Many nightmares have rolled through my head where I somehow lose the person that's closest to me; mom. It's just strange growing up with her and only her for the first years of existence and learning just about everything I need in those early years with her. So that scene lives forever in me because of that connection (sorry if I seem sentimental). The rest of the movie contains everything star wars. What is there to complain about? Ok, so the opening credits aren't as exciting as the originals, so what? They're not supposed to be, they are the set up to what is to become of the characters you're about to meet and the story that is about to start. It does take time for the story to start rolling, look at the first Lord of the Rings movie! It started off incredibly slow and boring, only to pick up in the end and continue through the next two movies. Allrighty then... in about 4.5 hours I'm going to go out and get me the crappiest of all that is Star Wars, aka Episode II. It's by far the worst movie. It's not entirely the actors' fault. If you look at the movie, it is supposed to be lets say, transitional (Yes I did stifle the sniffs and rub my eyes when Anakin's mother died). The movie proved it's point, that's all. It was there to show the downfall of the republic and the rise of the tyranny that is the empire. Hmmm... could this have been Cold War satire by Mr Lucas??? [Episode II also shows off all of Anakin's weaknesses when it comes to... everything. Episode III should be more of the same.] I'm only too sure, and by sure I mean from playing the Episode III video game, that this movie will not disappoint in nonstop action... I'll post again in the afternoon about how the third installment in a galaxy far far away leaves a lasting impression... |
May 19, 2005
A Day That Will Live In Infamy
| This is for Lindsay's viewing pleasure ;-) Here ya go babe  and i have a cell phone! what's up now playas?!?  crap i look stoned. i wish i was. |
May 18, 2005
Screw You Hippie
  Close? Screw you hippie. What do you know?!?!? >_< |
May 17, 2005
So I Think I Need To Go Out And Play....
Just look at all the dandelions waiting to be blown into the wind!!! It's summer!!! YAAAY! Actually...this is pretty bad... we need some weed killer. I think my lungs are going to give out before I get done with all of these little buggers!  So that's my lawn. Yep. Some of you city people might not know what a lawn is. Well, I have an interview tomorrow for Circuit City and I have absolutely nothing that would make a good impression in my wardrobe. So I think I'm going to be going out to get myself a shirt or something. I hate shopping. |
May 16, 2005
I'm Off For The Weekend
| So Saturday was The Dresden Dolls concert at Northern Lights. I went with Allison (the one and only). I hate how the drive to your destination always seems like a bazillion time longer than the drive home. The ride out there seemed to take 3 hours, yet at 1am the dtive home seemed to be only a half hour (probably because I almost fell asleep behind the wheel). So here goes the events of the day, May 14th, 2005: I awoke to the sun shining through my window at 10am. I then proceeded to venture out into the vast wasteland known as the Scharf/Lazzaro residence (I'm the only Lazzaro, misfit anyone?). After showering and a breakfast consisting of a ham and cheese sandwhich I came onto this very laptop and chatted and got final directions to go get to Allison's humble abode out in the countryside. [is this killing you yet?] Fast forward: I arrived around 3ish and we proceeded to go down to the park and get a chocolate icecream and a chocolate milkshake and walk down to the waterfront and then took a glimpse at a local baseball game. As we tried to leave she turns on the car, buckles her seatbelt, talks to me, then decides to try to turn the engine again. That scratching noise is the best ever! Especially when you want to laugh at the person who did it. So after I got done laughing and being scolded that it was an honest mistake we made for minigolf!!! None of you will understand how bad I am at this so I'll just post a picture of her going Tiger Woods on my ass  A galleria ensued and we spent a few minutes in K*B Toys. Which is always fun because we all want to 6 years old again. So then I got dragged through the shoe section, not fun. After that we went to dinner, Subway was not the first choice, but considering the line was out the door... we weren't going to wait. So here's the show!  Amanda has the best female singing voice I've ever heard. It's just amazing what she can do with her plays on words and her piano skills are just amazing. Brian is a maniac on drums and I wish I could find a drummer with half of his talent to play for my band (which still is nameless). They played almost every song you could hope for. Of course, everyone cheered and rejoiced when they played Girl Anachronism and Automatic-Boy. Considering those are the two singles that they released. I take a quote from Allison only because it was strangely true, "Look at all these short, fat girls here! They're all 2 feet tall and 4 feet wide." It was funny at the time, but now i feel bad for fat people everywhere. My favorite song by them is definitely "Half Jack". Which they played for their encore :-) "Missed Me" is also a great song ;-) but only when you're with your significant other. I had a wonderful day. Thank you darlin. <3 |
May 15, 2005
I Hope You're Happy...
| You are a RSIT--Reserved Sentimental Intellectual Taker. This makes you a Archetypal Older Child. You are a hard nut to crack. You have a wicked sense of humor. Despite your reserved nature, you are more comfortable (and successful) in the meeting and courting mode than you are in a long term relationship. You feel misunderstood, and usually you are. When you're in a good mood, you're funny, fascinating and a sexy firecracker, but when you're in a bad mood you are moody, broody and impatient. In courtship mode, you don't have to let anyone see your moody side. If you had your way, even in a long term relationship you would have enough time apart to deal with your bad moods yourself; unfortunately, it rarely works that way. You stifle *a lot* of anger and frustration -- from all areas of your life -- so when it comes out it comes out nasty. More than any other type, your conflicts tend to turn on one tiny thing -- the dishes, the laundry -- that's really a scapegoat for your larger dissatisfactions with your relationship. You're baffled that your partner just can't do the dishes -- your partner is baffled that it's such a big deal. The only way around it is to let the dishes go entirely and try to get at the real root of what's bothering you. I'm making you sound like a bear, but the fact is that you're so warm and charming most of the time that it effectively offsets the times you're unhappy. You will make a weirdly good parent. (that is really comforting) Don't pair up with someone who'll make sexual demands of you. That's just not going to fly at all. (it might not fly, but everyone has certain demands...) Take it yourself. Of the 226077 people who have taken this quiz, 5.3 % are this type. |
May 13, 2005
I want the truth... from you...
In light of the all of a sudden somber attitude from the best blogger I know, I've decided to follow suit and post something of a similar tune myself. Although I've tried my best to break this up into parts and shorten it up, there's really no way to do it. It's there in it's entirety:So the complexity of the world wanes on the shoulders of you? Good luck holding that and yourself up. I've learned long ago that change is made at the"you" level. If you don't like where it's all going, you need to make a change in the direction! Live for your future, I know from personal experience..IT's WORTH IT! Is everything in world perfect? Nope. Do the most talented people get the recording contracts? Nope. To live your life preoccupied with this crap will end up driving you crazy, kill your dreams or worse. Is the world Insane? Yep! Can you make a difference? When it comes to your life in this world.. yes, you can. Is it easy? What is easy can never truly satisfy a sane person. Coming of age is painful! The world interjects all it's fury into a mind that is absorbing and processing information at nano speed. No wonder people (you too!) are at peace with themselves when they take late night walks or retreat to the deep forests with their thoughts (OK sometime we take a rifle too). The world is like a ride at Disney going round and round. Every now and then we need to step off or we are going to barf! However, once we regain our equilibrium we get right back on. Why, because...well I guess it's a personal thing. I get back on because I enjoy the thrill of it all. Feeling sensations and meeting people that make the ride worth it. But absolutely must learn to balance our ride time! Balance is the toughest skill any human being can hope to master. Know balance and easily conquer your demons (also prevent uncontrollable barfing!). Friends? Ha! I've never had better friends than my parents. They accept me with all the errors I made in life and all my personal hang ups. Try listening to them once in awhile. Amazing! All they really want is to see is their children happy, well rounded individuals (they tend to worry for us too). However, their wish is really up to is the child fulfill. I never realized this myself until it was almost too late. I almost gave up on me, ripped between love, doing the right thing, making a difficult decision. I made a difficult decision...To let my one and only son grow up for the first dozen or so years of his life not knowing me. Was it the right decision? I still don't know. But I do know that his mother raised him to be a fine man. I'm very proud of him and find myself in admiration of his spirit, intelligence, world views, and talent. I feel pain when he does and don't want to see him faced with the difficult decisions I had to make. On the contrary, I wish for him to be a better man, which at times I think he already is, and to live his dream. Valentines Day! HA! Another revenue enhancement to the Corporate America bottom line... another Hallmark moment (sigh)! Yea, wake up! Why take one day in particular to tell someone how you feel about them? Profoundly stupid and doesn't conform to the true meaning of love. Love truly is an everyday endeavor that gives and takes from your heart and soul. Let's pick a special day! Bull crap! It's everyday! Jill has taught me that. I don't understand why she loves me the way she does, but I'm not going to stand around trying to figure it out. Why analyze love when it arrives? Seems we are always searching for it and then we want to dissect it once we find it? No way. Give a breath today to say how much I love her, that's all I ask for. I leave the rest to my heart and soul. The fact that this person has so much knowledge of life and it's problems only leads me to believe that my life has been in some way, robbed of the knowledge that he has to share. That if he decided not to leave some 19 years ago, that maybe my life would be somehow better, that I wouldn't feel as horrid as I do now. As lost and as desperate as I feel, he's always there to lend a voice that hasn't yet steered me wrong. I can't help but feel like I ruined everything for my mother and him, that maybe if I wasn't in the equation that their situation would have played out differently and maybe my mother would've been able to be happy with the future that they could've had. It's all second guessing. I hate second guesses. Mostly they're wrong, but you can't help but consider that "what if" scenario. So "what if" is the downfall to my life, so many regrets, so many lost chances, so much disappointment, I know one thing that I'm not going to let get away from me. This is too important to let go of, I love her too damn much. |
(Flexes Muscles)
 So much for Missy's idea. I did it all by myself!!! mom would be so proud! |
May 12, 2005
My Bags Are Packed, It's Time To Go.
As you can see, living in a dorm room has its setbacks... but then again, not cleaning is not really a setback now is it? So here's today's amusement: I was O's and my roomate sucks, so I stalemated him.  These hangars are all over the place! There's like 50 of them and I have no idea how I'm suppost to put these in a bag and bring them home.... hangars for sale!! five cents a hangar... this is gonna suck. |
You Must Watch
| watch you will. watch it. love it. learn it. we are going to make our own sketch at blogfest. don't play badmitton! |
May 11, 2005
crap.
| cant i just die at 18 and be over with all of this? |
2041 will be a good year.
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You're Standing On My Doorstep
I'm extremely bored/tired/depressed so i looked around for some quizzes...
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May 9, 2005
Liberal Gay Hippie Douche vs. Intolerant Redneck Conservative
I have a problem with this survey though: 3. Gay marriage Should be legal and given the same rights as heterosexual marriage. Should not be legal. Marriage is between a man and a woman. Legality is a total bullshit. Marriage is a union of two people in your religious sanctuary. Legality deals with government; as I know so far, our constitution has a separation clause. I don't think that it can be declared illegal by the government, or even declared at all. It is up to the religion, if protestant (Lutheran, Presbyterian, blah blah) religions want to declare gay marriage sanctioned by them. Fine. You know that the pope and Catholics will never allow that to be considered moral. So where does legality come into this??? It doesn't. If you want to get married, find a goddam religion that tolerates it. If you don't feel like changing your beliefs of a god then quit complaining about social intolerance. Just stop whining and do something about it. Government has no right to stop writing marriage licenses. In the first part, why the hell do you need a marriage license from your government? That makes no sense whatsoever. This wall that was supposed to be put up between church and state has crumbled. Actually, it was never even put up. |
May 8, 2005
There's A Rockstar In The Family.
The bill: The show:  Ian in "The Chair" while Bob Auquaviva plays his solo.  Ian... crazy as usual.  Ian and Joe-ito. (aka dad. aka old-timer)  Bobby with another solo.  Joe-ito, with the sweet pipes, sweet bass, sweet amp.  Ian doing his rockstar thing.  Joe "The Toe" (bottom end of the band, aka drummer). As you can see, FUCK TERRORISM. Video to ensue... if Chad lends a helping hand. |
May 6, 2005
Well this is self explainiatory...
 You must be pretty peeved right now then, eh?
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There's a Perfectly Logical Reason Why Short White Guys Don't Play Basketball. Pt. 2
| So I'm told that I'm a lazy good for nothing (you can add the 'N' word in there if you like) by my roomate. TRICKED INTO PLAYING BASKETBALL AGAIN!!! So as we all know, I injured myself last time. Pretty severely if I might add. Go ahead and laugh you assholes. My lef has just recently stopped being a problem and the slight limp was wearing off. UH UH. Apparently the kids htat we played against last time play just about every night. They were there again so. Four on Four ensued. Pretty soon a couple other kids arrived and it soon changed to a full court 5 on 5. So if we decide to look past the fact that I suck at basketball, which we gracefully will. I missed all but two shots all night. Crap. I forgot to skip that part. Well the same kid that was guarding me last time... guarded me again. Again, I got hurt, apparently this kid is my friggin kryptonite because after coming down from one of my gracious flails (otherwise known as a jumpshot) I land... and he lands on top of my foot... so flat footed I go straight onto my ass. I AM NOT THE MOST FLEXIBLE PERSON IN THE WORLD! It hurt like hell. So then there's my roomate's friend, he just happens to be 6'8". Fast break... I pretty much dive for the ball...I don't fall over as much as crash into him. So he comes down from a dunk, onto me... fun. Well back to the ice and advil... |
May 5, 2005
Bragging Rights.
So how many of you have bought tic tacs at quarter after four? HA! That's what I thought. Lets rewind to a half hour before that. Denny's at 4am... do I have even more bragging rights? I think so. |
May 4, 2005
You Ever Just Been Extremely Bored?
| Yeah, so today was probably the most boringest day ever. So it's inspired me to make this post about time killing movies and clips that make absolutely no sense and serve no good purpose. You could always just check out Chad's site though. First. It's nice to know the good students at Stanford are so academically excelled and are keeping themselves busy. Second. There's always that weird, poorly drawn, cartoonish site that has some sort of moral value, it's just that it's not in a language you can understand. Mamut! Third (and Fourth). There's always the unique and coolness of Homestar and Strongbad. So there's my mindless amusement of the day. |
May 2, 2005
The Ten Truths I Have realized about Highschool
| by adamthescharf 1. School is full of clicks 2. when you are in a school yard fight, you cant dance like in west side story( found out the hard way) 3. girls only date jocks 4.Theres always that one kid who has beard( i want that) 5.there will always be a girl who comes in to school and tells how drunk she got 6.Fat kids will always be the first out in dodge ball( its mean i know) 7. Armadillos are not allowed in school 8. Gays are always picked on( when will men be able to wax their eyebrows in peace?) 9. Kids will try to make themselves look as ugly as possible to be rebelious( i tried this once, apparently washable tat toos are not in) 10. steroids are necesary to do well in varsity( May i recomend Flintstones vitamins) |
May 1, 2005
Homo
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A fairly odd day...
So today was FREDfest. Supposed to be the biggest [and last] party weekend of the year. Yeah. I've had more fun getting teeth pulled. It was freezing today, not very almost-May weather. So the biggest party going had 10 kegs. Of course, I get there when they're down to their last two. Look at how many people are coupled around this damn bucket of metal and alcohol. So it's $10 for a cup and food. TEN FRIGGIN DOLLARS. So I pay $5 for a cup... and I get two? Ok. Well I can dual wield these beers now. Apparently getting to the beer happened to be rather uhh challenging. 15 minutes standing there, standing. waiting. for a drink. goddamit. There was a couple of good times though. There was a three story funnel. Holds 7 beers, seven! So food. Yeah, there was a hog. I bet a few vegetarians would be apalled with this:  So that was just about all the humor of the day. But then there is this:  She's cute and has horrible hair! No wonder why I love her. ^_^ |