Sep 28, 2005
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The Same Old Same
| So basically my life is revolving around four different things at the moment... 1) School - big whoopdy fucking doo. I got a 70 on my first math test... great. Like I care... oh wait... shit, I'm supposed to care... fucking A. B- on my first english paper re-negotiated to a flat B. Yeah you can see how fun all this shit is..... 2) Work - yeah I've been there 11 hours in the past two weeks... 3) Sports - it's crunch time people! My beloved Yankees are tied with the BoSox for the division lead and the Wild Card!!! New York Giants are 2-1 and Eli Manning is looking like a real Quarterback! Unlike another poser team, the Giants have a Defense! Hockey's about to start after a layoff of... all last season... like I care. 4) Shit. There is no 4... crap... errr... go here. |
Sep 26, 2005
So I Guess I'm the Asshole
| Apparently I'm the asshole.... I knew this a long time ago, but the increasing rate on the Leary meter is alarming. The one thing that I can't stand and drives me absolutely insane is when people ask me to never lie and never not tell them something about me. I should be in "full confidence" with that person and that they won't think anything less of me for doing so. BIGGEST BULLSHIT LINE EVER, DON'T FALL FOR IT. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that people will lie and would rather be conceited than tell the truth and tell you what's on their mind. I've learned that everyone has two faces. I've tried so hard to only have one. It's nearly impossible, how are you supposed to let everyone in on your deepest thoughts and most intimate experiences when you're asked about them. I can't see how relationships last for more than a few months. I can't ever imagine myself married or with kids for that reason. The worst part isn't that people are two faced, it's that you know their two faced. I can't stand gossip. Gossip is 90% of social interaction, needless to say, I'm quite the anti social. I've been called more names than I can list, I've been put down more times than I'd care to remember; but I remember it all. You'd think that spending time alone makes you a loser. I've been told I'm a loser for doing just that. You might be right, you're probably wrong. I'd rather know myself than know all of you. I can't be two faced with myself and get away with it. I've found that everyone is two faced, except when they look in the mirror... |
Sep 23, 2005
A Time Capsule
| Here's my life story... not that any of you give a fuck: I was born June 17th, 1986 in St. Lukes Memorial Hospital in New Hartford, N.Y.  Now life progressed quite rapidly in my early years, it wasn't until I was ready to start school that everyone began to realize what a little shit I was...  Everybody remembers what the epic cartoon of their time is. The show that's so outrageous and so tremendous that it becomes a staple of life and everyone has T-shirts and action figures and the show just changes the world. We are currently coming out of the Spongebob era. But back in my hayday we had  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!!!!!!! I still have the trilogy of movies on VHS, I have countless tapes of the actual TV show, and.... the "Coming Out of Their Shells" music tour. Hell yeah assholes, a fucking Ninja Turtle Rock tour! Not to mention that I also saw a TMNT performance down at the stanley theater back in the day... I don't remember much, I think I slept through most of it, actually... But then something happened... something that happens to all little boys... something that turns us into men.  Yep, right there, corrupted by women. We did practically everything together for the first 3 years of elementary school. She was awesome, we played ninja turtles on the playground (that was the only time you'd ever see a ninja turtle kissing april o'neil). Roller skating parties, gym class, reading time, nap time, recess (when we got it), all spent with her. I think I fell in love at the age of 7... yeah this is a sad post... go read adam's. |
Sep 21, 2005
33 Hurtz
| So Mike wanted to call me out with this whole pop icon bullshit. Well here's a long ass clip of a song that's from my dad's band 33 Hurtz... future video clips won't be as long... but my musical integrity was called out. I can't have that now can I? |
Sep 19, 2005
Come On, Upside Inside Out...
 Does anyone even remember Ricky Martin? I mean I've heard of some bad moves in a professional career, but going from a second rate soap opera actor (like there's a first rate) to an overweight toad, and then a pop star... it doesn't seem logical. Something doesn't make sense t0 me. You suck at acting so they killed you. You suck at life so you eat yourself into a mess. You suck at singing so you become... a pop star. Yes this just goes to show how little talent it takes to become a pop icon, for about thirty seconds. Fame is so over-rated. I went to my grandmothers' house last weekend and found a shitload of Star magazines and all the usual celebrity tabloid bullshit newspapers and was utterly baffled how easily you can make a living off of selling absolutely nothing... So if dear Ricardo can sell millions of records being a total douche.. that must mean I can charge a dollar admission for you to view this blog...... Fuck it's so much easier being a pop star. |
Sep 17, 2005
Part III...
| Smelly set out to get in touch with fil…she knew it would not be easy…but she had an in…Lindsay…they made a plan to drop by his apartment and talk to him…secretly Lindsay had kept in touch with fil…for one because the minx always talked about him and she knew that one day it would be useful, and two because lately fil had been talking about the minx…and three because she was black mailing him with a picture of him kissing the left foot of chad fuego… Smelly knew she couldn’t just go in and talk to fil because he was still upset about the shooting so she got Lindsay to go in first…they chatted for a bit and then Lindsay told him there was someone here to see him…he was hoping it was his next door neighbor missy who had borrowed some cheese from him to make a pizza but hadn’t returned the rest of the block…he was waiting to make nachos… Smelly walked in the door and he looked a little shocked…they sat down and she explained why she was there…she told him all about the shooting and how it was her who sent pitt in…but not to shoot, just to talk to ben…once fil heard the whole story he became relieved that the minx had nothing to do with it…so they made a plan to see her…at the fluffy blue silver dance hall night club Mean while mike and jake were planning for the funeral for the goat…rabbit was his name…rabbit the goat…he was a prized goat…he would dance to the sounds of matt good and make noises on command… he had a tattoo on his left hind leg that said ‘goat me a rabbit’…he was a ladies man and always seemed to attract the women… It was a modest funeral…250 people from all over the country and italy…matt came to sing rabbits favorite song ‘while we were hunting rabbits’…the funeral mass was long with 10 or so eulogies…and a closed casket thank god…after was the procession to the cemetery…56 car lengths and all…finally jake had a dinner party in remembrance of rabbit…3 course of the best Italian food…pizza, pasta, and porkchops… Just as the dj was about to spin Mambo Italian.. chad fuego walked in… the room was hushed… he hadn’t been invited… and with him as the number one suspect people were pretty mad…in a matter of seconds 94 hand guns were pulled out and pointed at him…he stood still not moving a muscle…there was silence… until pitt fuego stumbled in, totally wasted and collapsed in front of chad… what a precarious position for us all... |
Sep 14, 2005
Houston... I Mean, Buffalo... We Have A Problem.
| So Matt Good is coming to buffalo the night before the show in Toronto. GREEEAAAT! I'm really excited that he's finally making a U.S. stop. Let's hope it doesn't get scrapped like last year. Now this is good news, and bad news. Unless I find a really good paying job that's going to give me upwards of 20-25 hours a week to a full time student... I'm screwed. If you ask the people that do know me, when given options... I tend to contemplate and fuck things up. Way to go Matt, you have me thinking, and thinking is bad for this little kiddie. Especially when it's thinking about money, because I have none. Don't get me wrong, I may not have any money, but at least I'm not unemployed... Part 3 is the next post... This is how 33 Hurtz starts off every show... you have to love drunk people and chainsaws... Pitt you could take a lesson from this!: Mike is an idiot Thank Chad for the lovely video hosting getting figured out... wait... don't thank him, you're going to hate him for this.. |
Sep 12, 2005
I'm Just Sittin, Drinkin, Smokin, Wastin Time
| The best joke ever was rattled off today while enjoying lunch with some fellow W'boro alumn. We somehow get to the discussion of the show COP'S (which does kick ass). I'm not a racist person... but c'mon every once in a while someone just gives off a half hearted joke that's so outrageous and so...... racist, that you can't help but laugh. Suspect: What the hell, c'mon man, what did I do? Officer: You're black. Now coming from one person this might not seem funny to you. But when you come from a school district as devoid of negros as I do... racial jokes are a must. I'm going to hell for this.... |
Sep 11, 2005
They so stiffed me on the kissing part....
Sep 9, 2005
You Got the Music in You...
| So yeah it's been a long time since I've actually posted anything that actually deals with.... anything..... errr right. Right now I'm being so self centered and not caring about the rest of the world I almost feel bad. Almost. Three topics of discussion today: 1) New Orleans, Louisiana: Just have that fucker ready for Mardi Gras. Ok seriously, I can't fucking stand seeing all this shit on CNN and NBC about how people are trying to get back to their lives and move on. HELLO! EARTH TO FUCKING REFUGEES!! A hurricane just destroyed and entire city, I don't think moving on with your life should be a cause for fucking concern right now. How about rebuilding the fucking city and seeing if your house is actually still standing? I saw one story of a little girl who's no older than 3 that can't find her family and no relative/friend has come to help. Who would let a 3 year old just wander off in such a storm?? I hope the parents died. Seriously, what kind of parent loses their child? I'd have my kid fucking duct taped to my ass if anything like this happened. Common sense people, it's not too much to ask is it? 2) The Government: Fuck you, I never liked you anyways. 3) You only get what you give. I seem to remember a certain tsunami around Christmas of last year that was one of the worst ever... I also remember a shitload of countries stiffing all of middle and southern asia on relief funds. Now we get hit and an entire state (just one out of 50) is wiped out. I see the whole fucking world come running offering help and support. Fuck, Cuba offered over a thousand doctors all equipped with medical supplies to come help. This is the same Cuba that's ruled by the oppressive Fidel Castro and communist... yeah it is. Why is America so stupid? Help is offered, take it. Why? Because that's what decent people do; help and be helped. But nooo, someone thinks we're too good for that. But when our troops are catching roadside bombs and guerrila warfare is killing us, who offers to come and help? England... there's good news. "Have a bad day" - Pott (motion seconded) |
Sep 7, 2005
Part Two...
| Smelly knew that if she wanted to get to the bottom of this she would have to get to the minx…she was clearly the key to this whole mess…the only thing she had to do was find her, as mike did not clock her all the way home the family had no idea where she was... The Boss (Jake) called up new yorker lazzaro and asked him to fly out the next day… see lazzaro was the family "button"... he had business to take care of and knew he would be the only one who could help out the family this hour of despiration… Lazzaro arrived Sunday morning and met smelly and mike outside the local church… all mobsters have to keep their religious appointment every week… they decided to head to the local strip club for a drink to discuss matters… mike got lazzaro up to speed on the situation and smelly explained about the minx… 2 years ago the minx and smelly were dating brothers…ben and phil stucats…they were fine gents until one day ben snapped at smelly…she was so freaked she called up pitt fuego and asked him to speak to ben about it…they were good friends and she knew he would set him straight…except pitt went over with a piece… and instead of speaking he went clipping… but he missed ben and hit phil instead…three times in the left arm… phil was pissed and so pitt told him the minx sent him and not smelly as to protect her…needless to say phil broke it off with the minx leaving her devastated… she became a junkie and that's how she ended up a cafone and chased from the family. pitt eventually told the minx the truth…about how smelly sent him over…but he never told her the whole truth…from that day forward the minx vowed to never speak to smelly again… pitt felt betrayed, the people around him all turned on him and he was no longer made with the family. rumors of a hit being put out on him forced him to take up sides with chad and their type the three (smelly, mike, and lazzaro) sat at the club thinking about what to do when their waitress…the infamous Lindsay LaPorsha… she was a well known comare... she came up and exlaimed that she over heard us and that she knew the minx personally(by saying she overheard us made it impossible for the two of us to let her stay at the club so she's holed up in lazzaro's hotel room as we speek) all she ever did was talk about phil and so if they wanted a way to get to her…they had to get phil first… so they set a plan… find phil, get to the minx… nobody wanted to hit the mattress just yet, nobody wanted that much bloodshed on their minds, but it seemed inevitable... |
Sep 2, 2005
"The Hit" Part 1...
| it all started a few weeks ago... so Jake called Smelly up and he needed her to do some business with him.. she got her ferarri and headed over to Jake's pad... apparently his prized show goat was killed with a 25 mm automatic... he was pretty upset... so she called the family's underhand man Mike and he flew in the next day. The goat was hanging in Jake's garage with 37 bullet holes... it was a signature killing... it had to be Pitt fuegos cousin Chad fuego... that no good, rat bastard, son of a bitch.... apparently Smelly had known Pitt fuego and Chad fuego for some time...they always tried to put the moves on her but alls she had to do was make that face and they knew to back off. Mike and Smelly sat in Jake's kitchen... he was pissed and wanted to get back at the fuego with vengence... Smelly introduced the scheme and Jake was down with that but first they needed to find out why the fuegos had decided to stoop this low. Mike, the master of disguise, dressed up as a hooker and went down to the docks to do some undercover work... the fuegos always hung out there and he knew he could find out some information. Chad drove up in his k car - apparently the mustang was in the shop - and pulled up to The Minx and asked her how much... The Minx was a third cousin twice removed from the family, but she was one to watch out for herself and was recently disbarred from the family ranks. Mike saw Chad hand her something "fluffy"... Chad spead off and The Minx stood there, waiting for business to resume... Mike went up casually and started chatting...he was good at playing his character... he ended up finding out that Chad fuego had given her a goat's tail... the tail from Jake's goat, it had to be... this was a big clue... to be continued....... |