Oct 31, 2005
Fucking Sellouts
| So Mel Gibson is at it again. First he stars in movies about being a suicidal detective, an arrogant sonofabitch who is struck by lightning and can read women's minds (that is a cool premise, but the movie fucking sucked), he's fought the English. Not once, but twice. William Wallace died fighting for good ole Scotland, which has made no contribution to mankind (ever). At least the goddam Irish invented some good alcohol and drinking songs. Then again in the Revolutionary War. Great job in both movies, I swear I was bored through both of them. So the asshole is now too far over the hill to be a Hollywood Icon anymore (was he really ever?). So what do over the hill washups do? Direct. Just because you're an actor doesn't mean you're going to make a good director. That's like saying because I have a heart and it pumps blood through my fat ass makes you a heart surgeon. Fucking wrong. So Mr Mel's first major film debuted and everyone was all over it. The Passion was one of the best films of the year... blah blah fucking save it (and yourselves). I didn't see the movie, why? Because Jesus was a Jew, a rabbi. A laid back rabbi, in which the romans didn't like, so they pinned his ass to a cross and he died. For that, we celebrate two major holidays in which we get chocolate eggs, and a buttload of gifts. How we go from birth, crucifiction, death to chocolate bunnies and free toys I'll never know. So after Jim Cavezial ruined his career by being Jesus in a movie only watcheable in subtitles, I was pissed. I still didn't watch it because Jimbo has been in a few other good movies and I didn't want to see him waste himself being a Jew. Usually he's a homeless guy (Pay It Forward), or a cop talking to his dad through time(Frequency). Shit movie that last one, but you know what, at least he's not fucking Jewish in it. So Mel... what piece of shit are you going to scrape from the barrel for us this time? Oh, you're going to go down to mexico and hire a bunch of workers to build you a mansion?? Very commendable I say, oh wait, you're going to use these fuckers in a feature film too? Holy shit that's brilliant!!! Oh, but it's about Mexicans before they were invaded by the Spaniards... crap uhh.. is there any nudity in it? (female of course) no you say? great. I'm gonna go put Passion on loop... Stratovarius - Hold On To Your Dream |
Oct 28, 2005
So That's It?
| I'm putting the emo bashing to the back burner. Yes, there are some things that are more important than making a group of transsexual douchebags look worse than they already are. So I just watched a movie, after work. Which is 6 hours of sitting in a row, not good for the back. And now that the basement is rearranged and I'm on the bigger couch now, there is no good way to sit on this damn thing. Back... ache... help... can't... up. So I talked to a drunk person... reminds me that having drunk friends... is only fun if you're drunk too. How about the movie I just watched was Batman Begins. Which was fucking mindblowingly good. Except they left the end in kind of a dangle. Which could be a good thing if they go ahead and keep going with more movies going through with what they showed the next step was going to be, "The Joker". Which is all fine and dandy, but I loved the first Batman movie, where The Joker, as a common thief, kills Bruce's parents and then transforms into this supervillain. But not this time, they changed the base story from the comic books around so much that I'm intruiged and baffled at where they're going to take it. Ok so movie rating for 'Batman Begins' is! ****/5* Sorry for the inner geek peeking out. Story of the Year - Jarhead woo, another good movie i have to see. Jarhead |
Oct 26, 2005
See, This is the Shit I'm Talking About
| i've always been the one who hated life... i've always been the one who is negative... i've always been the one who is emotional... i've always been the one who cries... Why do i feel happy when you talk to me? Why do i smile when your around me? Why do i want to hold onto you? Why do i want to make you feel the same way you make me feel? Could you be the Angel i've prayed for all my life!?!?! ________________________________________________ out of over 100000 pro/highschool/college football players in the nation only 250 of them are woman... End sexist sports... Male or Female...still human! Do the dead feel sorrow for loved ones who are among the living? God made life to be something of value to man... Man made life a giant game of greed... Very few people go to school just for the education...its all about future jobs and greed...for money...mans worst creation.... Why can't we just live life with happiness and love...without money...man is evil...money causes wars...money causes crime...money...causes greed............. I JUST WANT TO LIVE LIFE AND BE HAPPY...AND HAVE LOVE....WITHOUT MONEY OR GREED.... man sucks...nature = true love and happiness but no one gives a shit...they all want to make money... Stab my back...its better when I bleed for you~ AAR Stay a bitch and let the guilt slowly fill your black heart until it BURSTS ~ The Used Okay this is the fucking bullshit I'm talking about, you little emo fucks need to go jump off the nearest bridge. This is the buddy info for a kid that I went to high school with. Just goes to show how fucking happy a place Whitesboro High School was. But on to the point... 1) End sexist sports.... okay well when a woman steps onto the football field, and a 350lb lineman crushes her, I don't want to hear any shit. When Bertuzzi comes from behind and knocks your make-up (and half your teeth out) into the ice, no bitching. When Shaq puts you down in the low post and runs you over on the way to the net, suck it up bitch. There's a reason why women don't participate in as many sports as men, we're just better at it. Who watches the WNBA? NOBODY. There's no excitement in a bunch of fully clothed women running up and down the hardfloor and making layups. I'll tell you the only two womens' sports I watch are tennis and beach volleyball. Scantily clad, duh. 2) I think you made your point with the whole greed thing right away. Yet I waste another 30 seconds reading more about it. It went from a good point, to whiney and so emo that I'm on the edge of killing this fucking kid. Then it says 'man sucks...' well now are you not only emo, you're gay too. This is a double whammey. Because if you're emo, and you become gay for doing so, then you openly show that you're both, well you're just a pussy. 3) The last two are song quotes, I'm a big music fan, I like song quotes! NOOOO. Let's put song quotes from the shittiest emo bands we can think of... All-American Rejects and The Used. Please god, tell me there's justice for these little bastards. Tell me they go to hell when they kill themselves. If I have to deal with this whining much longer, I'm going to hurt someone... and it might just be. . . . . Thrice - For Miles |
Oct 25, 2005
If I Had One Wish
| If I had one wish, it would be to get rid of all the goddam retarded boneheads that sit behind the wheel of a car. I can't stand these fucking retards any more. I'd rather have a bunch of infants behind the goddam wheel. Here's what happened today: This morning I stop for gas, $20 to give me about a half tank of gas (remind me to bitch out the U.S. government later). So I get out of the gas station and I'm waiting at the ensueing red light. The fucking retard is driving a Chevy Suburban [if you've ever seen one of these, you'd know it's a half step down from a goddam Hummer]. Light's still red... dumb shit creeps forward... still fucking red... still moving forward... light is NOT GREEN YET YOU FUCKING DOUCHE i scream out my window. Light for the turning lane turns green, this motherfucker is GONE. The problem with this is that the asswipe was going straight. Now you know me, I'm not one to take fucking retards lightly. So this asshole takes off before the light turns green... then goes 35 down a 40 mph road while in the left lane. I catch up to the dicklicker half way down the road and pull along side and just give the best "you wanna piece of me" look I got. The mid-40's driver and his 80 year old mother both shoot me back a look of "what the hell's your problem?" and are still going under the speed limit. Everyone behind us is throwing a fucking fit because we're going so slow, ooop *brilliant idea* I pull in front of douche bag and his mother and just put the ole car in neutral... let er slow down without using my brakes and at about 27 I hit cruise control. Oh this is too good. Let's go through a checklist of things that happened.
Thrice - Red Sky Fucking A we're going to have to have two songs on this post: Thrice - Atlantic |
Oct 23, 2005
Fucking Assholes
| President Bush announced today that he want's to highten border security and try to keep illegal immigrants out of the county. But those that have already snuck in can stay, in fact, let's put a plan into effect to give you immigrants jobs. Jobs that should be going to the american work-force. But since you're poor and probably escaping a genocide of some sort, I guess we'll have to ease your pain by giving you a job while everyone else sits around... unemployed. Taproot - Calling |
Oct 22, 2005
I need to see results...
The Beets - Killer Tofu |
Oct 21, 2005
STUPID EMO FUCKS:
| I wonder when people will realize that the "scene" has become homogeneous. It's full of 14-year-old girls with uneven bangs, black and white striped shirts, and tattered low-top black Chuck Taylors, who swoon over homosexual kissing and pathetic whiny lyrics and overuse the symbols. Their favorite quote is, invariably, "The truth is you could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt" because it like, so totally describes their relationship with that one HAWT sophomore who totally ripped their hearts out when they were like, SO in love with him. Their favorite type of music is, of course, "emo, screamo, and hardcore (LMAO...like they even fucking know what real fucking hardcore music is)," three terms which, in their minds, invariably include the bands Taking Back Sunday, Thrice, and Hawthorne Heights. Their AIM screennames often include "x"s, the words "electrikk," "disaster," or some play on their favorite song from their favorite band, you know, the one they saw on MTV like a couple times, but shouldn't be on MTV because they're like, way too emo for that. They take hundreds of black and white pictures with way too much contrast of themselves looking plaintively down at the ground, pointing a gun made of their fingers at their heads, or kissing the camera while displaying their expert application of lip gloss around their labret piercing and the thick dark eyeliner that circles their eyes. They embrace the "dork" that is inside their polished, fashionable exteriors by writing in their LiveJournals or Xangas about how they and their friends had an 'N Sync sing-a-long at one of their sleepovers because, remember, 'N Sync is soooo not popular anymore and they like, sooo wouldn't follow any of the fads of today, so they embrace the fads of yesterday. They adore "retro fashion," meaning anything from the 80's, because they totally used to wear neon colors and big beaded bracelets, even though they were born in, at the earliest, 1988 and remember jack shit about the fashion and culture of the 80's. It's full of "emo boys" who often are difficult to differentiate from "emo girls," who have meaningless tattoos even though they're 15, smoke a lot of cigarettes, drink a lot of hard liquor, and are in some shitty band that plays a couple of gigs in someone's basement because they're "too cool to go mainstream" when really, they just suck. They weigh roughly 90 pounds, wear girls' jeans that hug their asses in just the right places, belts buckled somewhere around the side of their right leg, tight striped 80's style polo shirts or band t-shirts, and skater shoes, even though they don't skate because that's soooo lame. They write awful poetry about the dark abyss of their souls and how the gun is pointed at their heads, the trigger poised to blast away the bloody memories of a failed romance. They cried when Blink-182 broke up, and they have a secret obsession with Avril Lavigne because, like, she really IS kinda hot even though her music totally sucks. They spend more time at the mirror than their female counterparts do, making sure that the long black shock of hair at the front of their heads lies covering one eye just so, that their lip piercing is perfectly placed so that it looks hot when they kiss other boys, that their pants are the right degree of tightness so as not to exude gayness. Emo boys and girls often use the suffix "Xcore" to describe themselves, using a number of adjectives or nouns to accomplish this task. This is a play off hardcore music, or "hXc." Some of these descriptive words include "fashionXcore," "retroXcore," or even "yournamehereXcore." This way of speaking is retarded or nonsensical to everyone else except those "in the scene", but it totally doesn't matter because they're too nonconformistXcore for anyone to truly understand their "scene." They couldn't name a Sunny Day Real Estate or Rites of Spring song if it came up and bit them on their Gap Jeans-clad asses, and they claim to like the Smiths because Jesse Lacey of Brand New said they were cool. Sure, they listen to some new "hardcore" bands, but they're all pretty much the same five bands: 1. Taking Back Sunday 2. Senses Fail 3. Thrice 4. Hawthorne Heights 5. Story of the Year To these promising young firecrackers, music takes a backseat to fashion in their scene of choice. Emo girls just want to kiss emo boys, emo boys just want to kiss other emo boys, and they all want to wear tight pants and take lots of pictures of themselves. End of story. Because honestly? It's electrikk! Whoever wrote this...ABOUT FUCKIN TIME!!!!!!!!! LOL. This is so true it makes me sick! haha. These are my thoughts exactly! The scene sucks...emo is annoying...you dont even have a real reason to be depressed!!!! And you sure as fuck dont listen to real hardcore cuz u couldn't handle it!! You are so trendy its sickening and the funny part is you pretend NOT to be trendy!! haha. I love the pics on myspace that say..."soo trendy in this pic but I'm only doing it to pic on the real trendy kids...(or w/e they say)" LAME! The only way to afford your "fashionXcore" clothes is prolly from your daily allowance from mommy and daddy cuz ur too depressed and emo to get a fuckin job! And if you DO have a job...I bet its at Hot Topic or Zumiez or something like that (yes I shop at those stores but it doesnt look like I stepped right outta the catalog either). Another thing...I dont care HOW hardcore you may think you are...you dont scare me and I could prolly kick your ass anyway...and I can say that without calling myself hardcore. Which makes me think...why do u consider urself hardcore when most of the true hardcore kids want nothing more than to break your face?? I must state tho that emo and hardcore lyrics resemble eachother significantly but still...you piss off most REAL hardcore kids...not those fake poser scene hardcore kids either...this blog includes you in the same category as these emo kids. Yes...I listen to some emo music....but the difference between me and you is that I DONT slit my wrists because the "world is just so unfair boo hoo boo hoo" while listening to my hawthorne heights cd (cuz my bf/gf left me cuz he/she couldnt stand my depressed self any longer) in the dark with candles lit, sitting on my bed in the corner and writing shitty lyrics/poetry which noone wants to read anyway!! YOU MOST LIKELY HAVE NOTHING TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT!!! For the ppl who truly do have depression...they can't stand you cuz you only pretend to be depressed for attention...which is really fucked up and you need to get ur head checked! So basically...emo kids...my advice to you is to evaluate the reason WHY you have become emo and think about how superficial you really are. Get a fuckin life and quit pretending to be suicidal cuz if you truly want to kill yourself you would have already! So quit tellin ppl you tried cuz its bullshit! You wouldn't live to tell about it if you really tried! END OF STORY!!!! P.S. For ppl who really know what depression is like and know how it is to be suicidal...this is NOT for you. You know exactly what I'm talkin about to! UGH! and dont even get me started on straightedge cuz most "XstraightedgeX" kids dont even know what REAL straightedge is about and for the ones that do...GOOD FOR YOU...but leave me alone and dont make me feel like shit for drinking...cuz I drink responsibly and its my life NOT yours! |
Oct 20, 2005
Common Sense Eludes Us All Again...
| Auto response from TeopistaC: Here's a one question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day? There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.? By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer > > > > > > > > > > > > > > He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses" If you got this wrong - please turn off your computer and call it a night. this just ruined the rant about the financial aid office at MV... but since I pathetically got this wrong, I'm going to bed, and don't you make pretend that you got it right. assholes. |
Oct 18, 2005
Remember?
| You do remember that whiney little bitch that was me a few months ago? The little sensitive jack around who would break down over stupid shit like nothing? I've had the final straw. Hurray for you!! Now it's time to be the person I've wanted to let myself be for the past year and a half now. The person who was kicked out of classes and the ignorant motherfucker who will tell you whatever comes to mind (most of it's not pretty). So I get another job, finally. I didn't work at all last week and about 4 hours the week before, so it's time to get some cash flow in a different way. The only thing is, I have two weeks before I start my job because that's how Circuit City divides up the training process. You think I'd come home after a 3 hour interview right after a math test and review for a midterm with some sort of nice greeting? Of course not. I get home and what do I hear first? A complaint, what were you expecting? Apparently not bringing up the trash barrels from the side of the street will skyrocket the nation to DefCon 4. I mean this is totally flipping shit over something so fucking stupid that I fail to see why I should put any emotion or logic into getting into this so called argument. I explain my morning and how I failed to remember my interview, meaning that I had to rush to get ready. I had to dry fucking shave to make it there on time. Do you know the last time I shaved was last wednesday? That means almost a week of growing facial hair and I dry shave... but I still should've had the time to get the garbage. So I rush out of the house, speed down to C.C. and find out I finally get the friggin job. Good. Math test at 1pm... great the interview has lasted til 12:35... PEDAL ON THE FLOOR TO MAKE IT TO CLASS. I actually got there 3 minutes early so I did a last second cram session. I get into class and I nail the first page. Destroy the second page, third page... uhhhhhhh... ahhh fucking skip it, fourth page... a half hour long to figure out that motherfucker of a question. Greeat, well now I don't have my test finished and it's time to vacate. Okay... my next class, "you have a midterm thursday" grrrreeeeeat! So after that gets out I have to drive back to Circuit City... what's this? Low gas light chimes in... shit. So $50 into the tank (that I don't have in my account). Fucking government. Two more hours filling out paperwork and reading over standard procedures and I'm finally out of that goddam 4'x8' office. Just to come home to the ignorant asshole that tells me I'm an anti-social because I spend alot of time in my basement(away from him) and on my laptop (away from him). Yet I seem to remember not being home and going out and being SOCIABLE the past few weeks... okay, that's down and out. BUT NOW I GET PISSED ON FOR SPENDING MONEY I NEED TO SPEND ON PAYING OFF AN $8,000 LOAN. Well assmunch I don't think I'm going to be able to pay that off any time soon so let's just do what every other college kid I know is doing, let the loan sit. Did you know I put over $700 towards paying off that loan this summer? I paid off over a third of my tuition ($500) already. Went to Montreal ($200), paid $400 for car repairs over the summer, Went golfing at least a dozen times ($300) and I'm not sociable? Fuck off. Go bring your own fucking garbage in. I have papers to write. FUEL - Down |
Oct 16, 2005
God Help Me... Again.
| This is how you know you're in for a rough weekend... but it wasn't all bad!!  but I did have to spend over 24 hours with the most evil woman ever conceived by birth... The Claire.  Lindsay was a little frisky at first... but as soon as the roofies I slipped in her long island iced tea started to take effect, she was ripe for the pickin!  I won't ever forget everything you "did" for me last night Linds ;) So the show started with "The Man From Harold Wood" and then kicked into gear. They didn't play much from White Light as I had hoped...  but they played four off of Avalanche. The best one was of course "Weapon" but "21st Century Living" was oh so close to surpassing it in greatness. Here's the whole Set List: Tripoli (Acoustic) Near Fantastica Hello Time Bomb Alert Status Red Everything Is Automatic Suburbia Avalanche Oh Be Joyful Load Me Up Buffalo Seven Blue Skies Over Bad Lands Weapon Apparitions (Acoustic) Encore Giant 21st Century Living Advertising On Police Cars  The best thing about playing bass is that after a while you're just at a show playing air bass in the crowd and the guy on stage with a Gibson Thunderbird looks at you and starts ripping into Alert Status Red just as I am with my handy dandy air-axe deluxe 2000.  The show ended and as usual, nobody wants to leave... K-I-C-K-A-S-S chants ensue and they came back out and actually played "Giant"  (that's 2/3 shows for that one). I absolutely adore that song and yeah I was still in rhythm with Mr. Priske  while the rest of the crowd is making out (lip synching) with Matthew I was jamming with Rich and it was noticeable enough for Claire to announce my infatuation with my new found boyfriend... I still have a certain picture of you Claire... it's perfect for blackmail... don't push me to use it! And I hope your special places are feeling better!! Matthew Good - Near Fantastica |
Oct 14, 2005
God Help Me
| I so wish I never started this style of blogging. I've been holding back the usual shit I write about and just putting those on paper and shoving them in my drawer. Apparently it's not normal to hate your life when you can't pay your bills and have failed out of school. It's not okay to feel ashamed of some of the things you've said to people. It's not right that you're not motivated to go out into the world and make a ton of money and live happily ever after. The saddest fact to all of this "misfortune" and "tragedy" is that everyone goes through it. I wish no one would have to suffer the loss of another. But it's inevitable, so why is it that we're so unused to losing people we're close to? Why does losing an uncle two days ago still less hurtful than losing a girl three years ago?? One's dead, the other is out enjoying life. How does this make sense? I wish I knew why people are the way they are. That's all I ask for in life; the pursuit of human intellect and reasoning. I would love to turn to a psych major, but who wants to sit in school for 10 years? (Chad and Claire are eccentric exceptions) The only way to understand why people make these decisions is to pry, this isn't the greatest tactic to use... agitation and frustration are the only two reactions I'm used to anymore. I guess by being who I am, in pursuit of this knowledge, I'm condemning myself to a life of being alone. Why? Because I just can't stand the "that's how I feel" or "there's nothing to tell" and the infamous "there's just nothing there" bullshit that I get from people. Can I just die now? |
Oct 13, 2005
How About I End It All, Tonight?
Oct 11, 2005
New Guinea, Spring Break 2006
Sociology is turning out to be more entertaining than I ever imagined. Lets see, our topic of discussion today was sex and the double standard that exists in our society and how there are differences in others. Lets see why New Guinea is taking the cake for spring bre... shit this is gonna rhyme... break:The focal point of ritual life in much of New Guinea is the men's spirit house, which is an enormous communal structure where the initiated men congregate and prepare for religious ceremonies. The men's house is the residing place for ancestor spirits, the place where warring and head hunting raids are inaugurated, and the place where sacred ritual art is fabricated by the men according to traditional precepts. A number of dramatic ceremonies center around the spirit houses, including boy's initiations, clan funerals and various elaborate rituals for dealing with the forces and beings of the supernatural world. All of these require special cult objects, including dance masks, effigy figures, drums and other paraphernalia. Other paraphernalia... what they neglect to tell you is that the other paraphernalia includes ingesting semen. MMMMMM. Great initiation, and I thought the ski team was tough. Some of the common elements include: the men's society, the men's club house, and the performance of spectacular ceremonies. So the men's society completely thinks that women are evil and are good for nothing but reproduction and gardening. Although I couldn't agree more, I don't think exiling them to a section of the forest to live on their own 11 months out of the year is the right thing to do. The only time these two societies come together, is when they come together. In early spring they have their "mating season" so who's up for a trip to New Guinea for spring break? We hit the ritual dead on and sex is open and hell, who doesn't want a kid from New Guinea? |
Oct 9, 2005
The Meaning Of Existence
| To you, You will read this. And i will forever know the history of a taco. Its always good to know that you can go on and that life will be good. I hear that you will achieve your dreams if you really try. If you do that, you will go far. Far is the key to success. A vast array of emotion came down in the face of defiance. The key to everything is to make sure that you are one with all these mother fuckers. If you can get past it all, you will have a heart of a champion. I forever will be with you in peace. Jason Colenzo 10-9-05 P.S To those of you who don't know me, soon enough it will be time. Time for me to put out my words of expression into music for all to enjoy. That day will come soon enough my friends, because the title will be "I have something to say and i will say it now" (and its NOT pop music) It will be music with a purpose, a meaning to those who decide to listen, music for those with an open mind. Thank you for your time. I will now be brainstorming for those who care to listen. Thank you! |
Oct 8, 2005
Thanks, Daddio.
| Yes it's here it's here. Saturday night. Guess what I'm doing, watching West Side Story. Let me know how much better your Saturday turned out to be. Unwritten Law - Seein' Red |
Oct 5, 2005
First Album
 Flyleaf released their first full length album today. I went to Best Buy and they had ONE copy in stock. So naturally... I bought it. $8. That's it. I would have paid $50. But don't tell them that... There she is *stumbles* Lacey Mosley. She's incredibly cute, she has such a good voice and a great sense of humor!! I could tell when she smiled and waved at me after she got up on stage... "but michael, why would she do such a thing?" Well she was in the crowd (which was about 30 people) for the two bands prior to Flyleaf. As I usually do when I see a girl who's maybe 5'2' and looks lost, I investigate. I was hitting on her for about half an hour and she didn't let on at all. So needless to say, I felt more than a little awkward asking for her to autograph their demo CD that I scurried to purchase. Yes Lacey, one day... one day we'll be together again. For now, I'm left with my own demise. I'm leaving the song uncompressed to you get the CD quality sound of it, I usually recommend songs but this one is a must. So please, help me and my lovely Lacey out. Flyleaf - So I Thought |
Oct 4, 2005
Political Me:
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Oct 3, 2005
Wake Me Up
| I had the weirdest dream last night. It's not one that I'm keen on sharing, but I'm going to do so anyways: I used to visit the two local music stores quite often in between my graduation from high school and departing for college. Well it was at one of these store I end up in the bass section and I'm just fiddling around with a few that are potential rocking out-ers for me. When it happens, a girl just walks into the corridor, almost runs me over, and keeps going down the hall (its a dream, its gonna be weird). She turns back and helps me lift my ass off the ground and its her. The girl I've been oh so hard to block out of my mind and forget. But it's not that easy, not when she's your first love, not when you've been through a social hell and still come away with the girl of your dreams. Not when you lose her and all your left to do is dream. I thought I was dreaming, but she reassured me I wasn't. I asked what she was doing at a music store, she was looking for me. She had found me, she had explained all the things she had done for the time that we'd spent apart. Explained how some things worked and some things didn't in her life. And how maybe she wanted me back... I'm not one to take someone back from a broken off relationship. I told her so and she didn't seem that disappointed, like she knew it was coming. The only reply she had was to pull me in and kiss me again. I melted on the spot; as I had always when we kissed. There is no other girl that is as compatible with kissing me, as she was. I mean it was always perfect. I was always afraid that if I did kiss her, it wouldn't be all I'd hoped it would; she had proven me wrong in that instance. I still remember every time I kissed her and told her I loved her, I still remember all the cute little nicknames and the frivolous tickling and the mis-use of a winky face. I still remember it all like yesterday. But it's not yesterday, and it's not today and it won't be tomorrow. I realized after kissing her that the only explanation was that this was a dream. But I desperately hoped that I wouldn't wake up. I hope that when I die, that's the type of forever dream I have. Because it's so much better than any dream I've had before. It filled all the false hopes back up, the ones that had died over the past two years without her. I hate myself for letting this happen. It was only a dream, but now I've been reminded of what I'm missing. It feels almost as if a part of me I was just getting back has left again. A part of me that doesn't want anything to do with the opposite sex is back. I didn't like that time period of feeling that way. I don't much think I'll like the feeling of being alone when I know someone like her is out there. That maybe there's someone else like her out there. And I'm still here, alone. Thrice - Ultra Blue |
Oct 1, 2005
Sociology
| I have to watch 2 hours of children's television and write the following: 1) what I feel as good and bad for children. 2) how children should behave at home. 3) take a program diary of the shows and all commercials. 4) did the shows reflect those aspects that I considered good and bad and proper behavior for children. 5) what kind of social message did the programs and commercials send. 6) where there any ethnic, gender, or other stereotype in the programs. THIS IS TAKING ALL THE FUN OUT OF WATCHING CARTOONS In other news, I'm bringing music back to this blog. Not the autoplay but at the end of every post I'll put a link to the song of the day. So to re-inaugurate it here we are: FUEL - Sunburn |