Apr 7, 2006
The Top 10 Overrated Bands of All Time
| Now here's the scenario... myself and my friend Jay have been avid music and political debaters since I got back home. So when we get to the point where we're making fun of a certain friend who thinks NickelBack is the best band to ever walk god's green earth we decided to come up with this list. Unfortunately, being overrated means you actually have to be good to make this list. Begin the countdown: 1. Dave Matthew's Band Ahh yes here we are. Arrived at numero uno just in time! Dave Matthews the most overrated man/band of all time. Sorry to disappoint those who were expecting The Beatles, but they are just "all that and a bag of potatoe chips". Dave is a great musician. Has a great life story. Has put out some great albums( Under the Table, Crash, Everyday)[busted stuff was a disapointment], you know, I'm almost compelled to say all of them are great but I haven't heard the new one. Would I shell out the $45 or $50 to go see DMB play?? Hell yes. But what I've found in the teenage underworld is quite disturbing. My neighbor and longtime friend packed about 30-40 people into his basement (we're talking small place here people) and played nothing but DMB for almost four hours... every girl was all over him and every guy was just fucking itching to get the fuck out. This same kid (along with many others) went to see Dave play in the summer... how many times do you ask? Not once. Twice in the same weekend. But that's not all, no sir!! A third time in NYC, fourth and fifth time in Massachusetts and then once more in Vermont. All in about a two week span. Six shows and almost $1500 later he comes home to tell me how awesome it was to hear the same 25 songs played over and over again... Fuck that. I like Matt Good. I'd never go see him more than once on the same tour. Just isn't much point! Three times (soon to be four) have I seen Matt play and each time it was after a new album release. But dear fucking god, there is no reason for 6 times. That just shows plain stupidity and why we have people in this world who sit out on the streets and beg for change, it's people like him who are the reason why we have hippies loitering our streets!! 2. U2 Ah yes good old Bono. Let's see when did the shit start flying with U2?? With the album The Joshua Tree I thought they were amazing. So much so that I made it a point to go out and see if I couldn't get a few albums from the store... then... whith sampleing songs and after a few downloads I came to the realization that these guys were even more fake than Coldplay. Two to three singles on every album keep these guys afloat and the rest of their songs are just floaters in my toilet. Has anyone actually gone for a U2 concert?? I haven't, you want to know why?? Because for the $150 it costs to get in a venue that has the capacity to hold Bono's ego errr i mean the performance... you're standing in someone else's piss near the port-o-johns a half mile away. I'd rather spend my money a little more wisely... like at the casino. 3. Nirvana Nirvana. The band responsible for the death of 80's hair metal. Fucking Assholes. They are the founders of what we would call modern day "emo" "screamo" and "xcore". So basically everytime you see some pale white teenager wearing nothing but black and could honestly be scared away by the scent of garlic, you have Kurt Cobain to thank for that. If not for the fact that he mysteriously showed up on the news because of his apparent suicide in 1994 the band wouldn't still be getting three tracks an hour on every damn rock station in the country. Not to mention that Nirvana and 2pac are the only musicians who can still have albums released almost a decade after their deaths but we won't 2pac overrated because he was the man from compton (and you know what's going to happen if i badmouth someone from compton). The coked out bastard and his wife (still coked out) had a kid... that kid's name... chad ciavarro. 4. Weezer Yes, Weezer. I mean they have a good sound and have made a couple solid albums. But they are not these entrapreneurs that everybody makes them out to be. Besides, who else but teenagers listen to Weezer?? No one. Want to know why?? Because the rest of us know what good music is. Not to mention the lack of talent in the band (outside Rivers) and the lack of creativity. I mean when you have half of your songs consisting of three different notes... we're going to have a problem calling you creative. 5. Madonna Madonna... goddam where do I start?? The original pop-diva-whore-slut-stillwannabangheranyway-girl. But musically... she was never good. I mean even when I'm in the 80's mood and toss on some of the 80's pop/synth none of her "music" is even worthy of making it on that list. If not for the multiple whore'd out videos and making out with britney spears on stage twenty years later... I don't think any of us would remember who the fuck she is. Just another wet dream that found someone to write her a techno beat to shake her ass to. Shake Shake Shake. 6. 50 cent The man is not the next Dr Dre. Speaking of Dr Dre... and Eminim I'd like to know if they were fully aware of the asshole they created, the asshole and the turds that follow it AKA G-unit. Not to mention somebody needs to tell the record and business execs that his music is mediocre, his life story is completely boring and that he made a completely shitty video gameNow don't get me wrong, I think he's an okay rapper, but jesus christ the man is nothing in comparison to Lil JON!! [or mike paquette] 7. Staind Aaron Lewis is the brains behind Staind. Unfortunately over the past five years his brain has turned into that of some other... less... creative people. The first album that really sold was Break the Cycle (which I own). Which was an allright CD. They had two dimensions and you found those dimensions in their singles like It's Been A While, Outside, and Fade. But then success went and made them suck, every song on their past three albums has been using the exact same formula and they still all get played on the radio at least twice an hour and it kills me. Start off with our slow guitar intro for twenty-six seconds and thennn NOW everyone starts playing and whiney boy comes in and sings about some fuckup in his life and it's just getting really old and uncreative. 8. Destiny's Child Now everybody knows Destiny's Child. At least we know only what we need to know. Beyonce. That's it, that's all. Make a porno and just call it quits goddamit. I don't need to hear the TLC formula used again to give us another five years of la-lalalala-la i dont want any assholes liking me but I'm still going to dress like a skank and shake my ass in your face and taunt you because you're about to become my bitch and I won't even need to put out cuz I'm "bootylicious" asshole. But she is Beyonce... 9. Limp Bizkit It's a little surprising that they actually made the list because the final 3 albums from Fred Dirst and company just blew ass. Which is precisely why they make the list. Despite sucking bigger donkey balls than a few fellow bloggers, the Bizkit was a solid band that had many unheardof songs that never made singles. "Rearranged" happens to still be a favorite of mine... but it all went downhill. We were given the likes of "Rollin" where 'what' is rhymed with only one other word... 'what' and 'care' and 'fuck up' are just a few more. I could write better. Who would ever ask Fred Dirst to do a soundtrack is beyond me.. hopefully with a new album in the works (it's been like 5 years hasn't it?) we can hope for more songs like Faith and Counterfeit. Don't get your hopes up. Fred Dirst is also directly responsible for #7 going way downhill. 10. The Rolling Stones I know that they have their fair share of hits and are world renouned and have travelled to every mass populated nook to put on a show. But you're all pushing 60. It's time to call it a career. Even Ozzie knows when to start toning it down as to wane yourself from the public eye and call it quits. Would the Stones take the hint?? No. Superbowl XL's halftime show was one of the worst displays of music I've ever seen in public (second to scott stapp). Soon they're going to be skeletons up on stage just playing over recordings... kinda like ms i can't sing or dance, Ashlee Simpson. |
posted by Mike at 4:00 AM
