May 14, 2006
I'm 20 in a Month
| There's your answer foxxy. So on to this weekend's immense amount of pleasure (friday) and displeasure (saturday). Friday was a little quality time with the lady friend, work, dinner that I owed a friend, buying beer and then poker night with some of the boys. I was a guinea pig for the mad scientists for the last $20 in my wallet. Six minutes later it's gone. So what's the only natural thing to do when you've lost the last contents of your wallet?? Scour your pockets for loose change and stray bills!! I find a ten. GOOD ENOUGH! "Just Ten?" famous last words from half the table. Four hours later I'm up to $120 and on my merry way... Enter Saturday: wake up at 8am for work, pick up the lady, spend the day with the lady, spend some of the night with the lady. Then... I took a chance to have some fun. It's an annual thing... Turtleland. But unfortunately the boobs orchestrating everything forgot that it's prom night for ye little high schoolers. Well I have a 28 of Molson (for $18) and head up to the party... [Phone call] Listen man, there were a few cops up here earlier and ------ got arrested for lieing to the cops. Just hurry the hell up and stay out of sight. [/call] I have a bad feeling about this. So I get up there and park, take my beers, start the trek through the woods... where the fuck did this fence come from?!? Hike back to my car. Here's where you get to play along: you A) put the beer in the passenger seat because you're tired from carrying it all over the damn place. B) put the beer in the trunk because you feel like the night is wasted anyway. well for those of you that chose option B, your ass is in jail. I chuck the beer in the seat and close the door look up... hello mr pig. Fuck. Hop in, take off, drive down a few meaningless streets... he loses interest and stops tailing me. The funniest part is, the party was behind a Jewish Cemetery (oh I should've saw this coming). So I go and park again, sprint my ass up the hill with the beer in hand, make the trail with no cars coming or going. Half way there..... everyone's leaving. FUCKING A. Sit down, revel in how stupid this idea was. My good friend J-- comes down the trail with a fucking table. Great, so I pick the beer back up and we make it back to the edge of the trail and what do we do... we leave it. Head back to the parkinglot, decide to do a smash and grab of the table and then come back for the beer if we get the table successfully. No dice. As me and J-- are waiting for the driver to swing back around... cop car. Dive, hide. Ahole goes by... he's seen us, I'm sure of it. Look up, there he is pulling a U-turn right in the middle of the damn street, dive to the other side of the hill so he can't see us coming down the other way. FUCK THIS WE'RE OUT OF HERE Back to my car on my last legs, hop in, friend's girlfriend is in the car, goody. Take off and get down onto the main drag... cop car just in front of us... I'm going extra slow... please let him pulll awayyy He pulls into a side parking lot, comes out behind me and flashes his lights. Fuck me. License, Registration, Proof of Insurance. Question Question Question... Bullshit Answer, Semi-Bullshit Answer, Truthful Answer. More questions... I'm running out of shit to sling, friend's girlfriend takes over, holy fuck I love you. Drop girl off to rightful boyfriend, take friend J-- home. Drive 5 under the speed limit the rest of the night. So what have we learned tonight boys and girls?? Bluffing in poker = making money Bluffing police officer = in jail Beastie Boys - Fight For Your Right |
posted by Mike at 4:30 AM
