Aug 9, 2006
Tapering Off, the Detective Tale of Rouch Growley
| Damn I hate kids sometimes. I got a phone call telling me to come quick, we have an investigation to get on. So I slipped out of my underdog jammies and into a t-shirt and a pair of overalls, when you're on the case you wanna look your best. Cecil, my partner, was already waiting for me at my front door and we both threw our big-wheels into reverse. Just as we were making ready to peel out, that girl who insists on making me do everything twice came barreling out onto the porch, phone and juicebox in hand. Man, if there's one thing girls are useful for, it's juiceboxes. We made the two block trip to where everyone was crowding around the aftermath of what seemed like a child brutality, weggied i'm afraid. Now there were rumors about it being an atomic weggie but there's only one for sure way to tell if it's really that severe; the kid would've been unconcious. Instead, he was hiding under the picnic table rocking back and forth sucking on his thumb... We tried to ask people how it started. The best that we got out of it was that the kid lives across the street and his mother called him in for lunch. But with a name like Hilary, you're bound to catch some shit for it, especially when it's made public in such an embarassing way. That's one thing girls aren't good for, keeping secrets. Well after that we pretty much knew how the rest of the story goes. It had appeared that notorius bully by the name of, Im too big for my age Max, had given a certain school boy a charlie horse and a weggie, next too him he left a note spelled out in Juice, "Ouch" well that's all we were gonna get from the victim. And the more I thought about it a boy with a name like Hilary we both agreed the poor kid had it coming but Max had gotten away with too many of these pull-up and runs.  We were gonna catch him... and today was the day to do it. We arrived at his house exhausted, that's what big wheeling all the way to the development will do to you though. We knocked on his door but nobody answered... we waited around for a few more minutes then just as we were deciding to leave we saw I'm too big for my age Max, he slowly looked at us as if he thought we couldnt see him, he started to move out of the room slowly chanting, "Cheewah" over and over again, "Cheewah cheeeewahhh CHEEWAHHHHHHHH" We both had no idea what he was gonna do... but when he jumped on my big wheel and peeled out that was the final straw. Cecil grabbed his big wheel and I grabbed Max's but it was way too big and I couldn't reach the pedals when they were all the way forwards... I'm too big for my age Max headed for the park... we didn't know whether or not to follow him in. The park was a place we were never allowed into unless we had someone alot older than us to make sure we didn't fall off the monkey bars. But today we had to chance it. We followed him past the basketball courts and the playground to the baseball fields. He ditched my bike to jump the fence but our best efforts left us on our backs looking up, damn our small stature. That's when it happened, Cecil devised the greatest plan ever. We stole I'm too big for my age Max's big wheel... there's nothing that anyone in their right mind would hold more precious than their big wheel. It was the perfect plan to make sure Max got what he deserved! We gave the wheel a push into the creek and our job was done, another case closed, another day's work successfully completed funny but to think about it, that was the last day I've heard from Cecil... |
posted by Mike at 4:18 PM
