Sep 30, 2006
So Strange
| how much you can despise yourself and convince yourself that you're better off just putting your head down and saying "fuck you" to everyone and everything around you. Then some moron can't take the hint and keeps trying to figure out what the hell your problem is, when in reality you'd like to just stand up, backhand the dumb fuck and scream "get the fuck away from me" just to make things the way you want them. Unfortunately I'm not good at conveying what I mean to people. So instead I slam my head on a table and spend the rest of my break with a slightly disorienting buzz whilst listening to my mp3 player. Alone. So strange how you can't help but feel a little better about yourself when you know someone's taking notice. Then remember how this seems to be cyclic and always ends in the same disappointingly crappy way. So instead, you completely avoid it. Knowing what it's going to do to your grades, pocketbook, and imagination by the time things are done with in a matter of weeks... months... or (if you get lucky) days. But you're too smart to fall for that, again. So you keep treading softly, never taking off your headphones, even in class, as to make sure a conversation can never pop up and you can never be sucked into some girl's idea of a "game". You can never be badmouthed to your entire family and be the last one to hear about it. You can never be so fucking astounded and crushed right after giving in to everything you swore you'd never do, just to have her throw it all in your face. That one hurts. The whole distance excuse is a pretty lame one too. So here's to breaking the cycle. Telling an extremely hot girl to "get the fuck away from me" loud enough to make security come running. Baby steps michael. Baby steps. Matchbox Twenty - Back to Good |
posted by Mike at 10:53 PM
