Apr 28, 2006
Having Done It I Couldn't Say
| I hate using song lyrics as titles. I hate people who use song lyrics as titles. Brain is just too squeezed to really think of a good one right now. I just got off the phone with SUNY Fredonia. Hold on my account has been removed. I'M NO LONGER CONSIDERED CRAZY!!!!1!![shift+one]!! by them anyways. Now lies a new challenge... admissions. Motherfuckers have had my application for WELL over a month and haven't gotten back to me on anything yet. So I sent emails... I placed a phone call only to be given back to Student Affairs to get my hold removed. So I said fuck it and I emailed the dean right away this time. I swear I'm going to burst a vein if they take longer than tuesday to get back to me (semester's almost over you know). Speaking of the semester almost over... I have much-o to do-o. I have to go see some play and write about it. I have to explain who the top-10 money earners are on the PGA and LPGA tours are, and why the LPGA players get paid so much less. I have to actually give a fuck NOW. My G A F hasn't been stellar of late. My main devices the past couple weeks have been just staring at my bass, watching senseless television shows (manbearpig!), and working. Which is senseless in itself. Styx - Come Sail Away |
Apr 26, 2006
Ape Tit
| So I've been working a ton (catching up on sleep). Not doing any schoolwork, no studying either. I recieved a hair over a 50 on my last economics quiz. Hit the big 4-0 on my last Biology test. So grades are going slightly downhill... So is the bank account. Not only was I bankrupted by going to Toronto/Waterloo, the assholes decided to not have any work for 3 weeks in a row. Still waiting for the bad news?? My car shit the bed. No, I didn't rail it into some poor unsuspecting old lady, instead the gas line has completely split and needs replacing. I've been driving with NO engine coolant and I'm 1500 miles overdue for an oil change. Not to mention that having a girlfriend also takes up time, and time is money. I have an idea to start peddling smut just to make some money Go see pinky I think I should just start peddling smut and make a fortune that way. Help. |
Apr 23, 2006
Drought
| So over the past month my political rant-antics has hit the floor considering there's been no work up until this week. Then they call desperate for hours this week and weekend and into next week. So the intolerance of stupidity and ignorance are back to their regular levels. How fucked up is it that some people are actually calling this "amnesty" to illegal immigrants a good idea... very fucked up. First of all, I was born here, naturalized U.S. of A. citizen and I've been paying taxes since I got my first job at 14. So you poor assholes hop on a bandwagon come over the border and then take my job. But you don't pay taxes on top of it... right, let's let them stay!! Get the fuck out. Now They say that overall, unemployment has gone down. But unemployment of teenagers and the generally uneducated has gone through the roof. What's the problem with this?? Nobody wants to work those shit jobs anyways!! Wrong. Come again... so I have to go to university for 4 years to get a job that MIGHT pay me $35k. So figuring the increasing costs of school I'm going to have to pay off let's say a base of $65k, compiled with interest rates... $90k+ total. Now to me that's a bit of a fucked up proposition. I get a better education, I get a better job, I pay my taxes, but these illegal immigrants are raping the system because without paying taxes they're making just as much as I am. 12 million. that's how many of these dirty, dirt poor mexicans have entered the country since 2000... and they're taking my piece of the pie. I know because I've had to quit 2 jobs because we get one of these sanchez assholes that work for $5 an hour(minimum wage is $6.75), don't pay any taxes, do any and all the jobs they can get, then either get deported or leave for home after a few years and guess what... they're richer than half the cocksuckers who stayed behind farming chickens and bottling tequila. I say Amen to that fifty foot wall across the border. Let the fuckers earn their trip to the U.S. tell them to get on a damn raft... like them Cubans. Limp Bizkit - The Priest |
Apr 19, 2006
It's Just...
| that there's nothing worth blogging about in the last weekish. I have another top ten list sorted and ready to go. The bands that suck. Yeah I don't have too much else to say. The Rangers are on a five game skid... BUT AT LEAST THEY MADE THE PLAYOFFS. Some of you may know... I live and die to watch 24 on monday nights. It is by far one of the best actiony shows on television and it adds intruige to it as well. Feeling more and more like the show is reflecting actual current events and has been blurring the line from this fictional story and our foreign affairs. Maybe that's not the surprising part, maybe the surprising part is that the show is almost the opposite of FOX News' standpoint... Fuck one of these shitty lawyer commercials is on television. I fucking can't stand lawyer commercials. They may be the worst idea to market a business ever. If you've ever seen a good commercial for a lawyer.. I'd ask you to pass me the pipe. Speaking of television, I've been sitting in front of this laptop and T.V. for almost 4 hours. Time to go do something... like sleep. Days in a row that I haven't played bass: 17 Matchbox Twenty - Back 2 Good |
Apr 13, 2006
The Top 10 Stand Up Comedians of All Time
| 1. Richard Pryor 2. George Carlin 3. Lenny Bruce 4. Woody Allen 5. Chris Rock 6. Steve Martin 7. Rodney Dangerfield 8. Bill Cosby 9. Roseanne Barr 10. Eddie Murphy |
Apr 12, 2006
A New Top 10 List.
| That's right. There are two new top ten lists in the works that you monkees get to ridicule me for. We're doing the top 10 bands that just plain out suck. then the top 10 comedians of the last 50 years. We're taking suggestions for both. And don't throw out the name nickelback... it's been well documented that they are making the suck list no matter what. |
Apr 10, 2006
The Stapler Toss
| So the weekend was full of ups and downs and no matter what anyone says they were all fucking hilarious. My tale starts at about 10pm EST on Friday night. To be greeted by the world famous Patrick Pitt, Chad Ciavarro, Mike Grimshaw, and Mr. & Mrs. Hamm. Pitt started my 5 month sobriety's downfall in the right fashion. A double Jameson on the rocks to start things off. A few beers later I proposed Mr Grimshaw do his worst and order me the worst drink he could think of... Tequila + Tobasco sauce = Prairie Fire + burning sensation and it was fine going down... but ten minutes later while walking to Pitt's car my lungs started deteriorating. After saying adios to Jeremy and a riled up Nori (my bad), we hit up The Brass Rail. Real classy joint... until you order a couple beers then get a lapdance and can't remember how much you actually paid the stripper (my bad). Instead of the $50 and $20 I thought I had in my wallet it turns out that I grabbed only two $20s and she came back to the table and let us know about it. Embarassing moment. Travel back to Pitt's flat was intruiging as we managed to hit every speed bump and divot in the streets... it was all just a clever scheme to grab shotgun from Chad. After arriving back to Pitts I was a complete and utter waste of oxygen and I needed some rest... unfortunately for me those two weren't done drinking and finding new uses for peanut butter. Fortunately for me I wasn't actually sleeping when they tried fucking with me, I was just in that almost-coma/slightly-awake-but-can't-open-your-eyes state. The next morning was fun.   Pitt on the phone with Outlaw and ditching her phone call for a game of NHL 06 vs the master. After I tore him a new one... the outlaw tore him a newer one. We then proceeded to Pearson International to recieve the well hung blogger mogul, Tony Pierce. After reception downtown was passed up... for a cozy lounge and a couple drinks and orderves with the soon to be married couple. It was great company and hearing someone actually talk in serbian dialect only made Pitt's mockeries of it the night before more hilarious.After a few compliments and a few jokes later I feel I'm in better standing with the outlaw than I was before (how about that).  Packing it in we headed to Waterloo. The Best Western was then invaded and claimed in the name of Drunkards. Few beers and a few pizzas later Raymi and Phil were contacted and we left for the Matt Good show in the Starlight. Sidestage was great considering Raymi kept passing gas and beers seemed to float out of nowheres into my hand. The encore/duet/cover was, in my opinion, the best song of the night! "Hurt" by NIN. After the show I'm blindsided with a hug from yet another out-of-towner: Gwendalynn. Even though she's a total bitch and keeps blocking me on her blog I know deep down she loves me. She knows it too. We piled back into a taxi and returned to the Western to properly christen our room. From "The Cia-saunter" to "HEY I'M ASHTON KUTCHER" to "Phil the bottle opener" to "Launch the Mountee" to the bars!! Cuz we're out of beer anyway... Raymi and I almost had simoltaneous heart attacks as Pitt tried explaining to our cab driver what a celebrity he is and how his website has created pandemoneum across the tundra. We then endured the mob rushing our cab. First bar... no hats (to tony's displeasure) and nobody under the age of 21... but in Canada it's 19... sorry house rules, I only enforce them... so we enforced to go to a different bar. A bar named "Filthy McNasty's" is indication enough that you should leave and never come back. Being told that last call was "20 minutes ago" by a 4 foot girl was rather irritating. So we were Givin'er in Kitchener. Started drinking again in the strip club and 3 beers later Tony had his lapdance, Px was defeated in armwrestling by Ciavarro, and Raymi wants to arm wrestle me... so I let her win the first time "oooo yeah she's the champ", etc. But no, once isn't enough for her!! So I proceeded to beat her in this little competition two times. We head outside and that's where the shit almost hit the fan. We're waiting for a cab and hotdogs are being passed out on the grill and Chad [being in the drunken stupor that he was in] hands the whitest, shortest, geekiest, wiggerest kid a ketchup bottle upon request. The 5'3" moron with the crooked white Yankees cap proceeds to do nothing but sit there and spray it on Chad and Tony... after a couple of intimidating stare down seconds and also scoring with the dude's girl Tony works an apology out of him. Which probably saved the kid's life because Chad, Pitt, Tony and myself were all on the verge of beating the everloving shit out of him. Fucking wiggers. Return to hotel... crack another beer.. only take two sips because it's now 3:30am and I have to be on a bus by noon. Watch Pitt pass out with beer in hand. Talk sports for a half hour with Chad and hit the deck.  The guys... after I missed my bus and we decided to make it to lunch. |
Apr 7, 2006
The Top 10 Overrated Bands of All Time
| Now here's the scenario... myself and my friend Jay have been avid music and political debaters since I got back home. So when we get to the point where we're making fun of a certain friend who thinks NickelBack is the best band to ever walk god's green earth we decided to come up with this list. Unfortunately, being overrated means you actually have to be good to make this list. Begin the countdown: 1. Dave Matthew's Band Ahh yes here we are. Arrived at numero uno just in time! Dave Matthews the most overrated man/band of all time. Sorry to disappoint those who were expecting The Beatles, but they are just "all that and a bag of potatoe chips". Dave is a great musician. Has a great life story. Has put out some great albums( Under the Table, Crash, Everyday)[busted stuff was a disapointment], you know, I'm almost compelled to say all of them are great but I haven't heard the new one. Would I shell out the $45 or $50 to go see DMB play?? Hell yes. But what I've found in the teenage underworld is quite disturbing. My neighbor and longtime friend packed about 30-40 people into his basement (we're talking small place here people) and played nothing but DMB for almost four hours... every girl was all over him and every guy was just fucking itching to get the fuck out. This same kid (along with many others) went to see Dave play in the summer... how many times do you ask? Not once. Twice in the same weekend. But that's not all, no sir!! A third time in NYC, fourth and fifth time in Massachusetts and then once more in Vermont. All in about a two week span. Six shows and almost $1500 later he comes home to tell me how awesome it was to hear the same 25 songs played over and over again... Fuck that. I like Matt Good. I'd never go see him more than once on the same tour. Just isn't much point! Three times (soon to be four) have I seen Matt play and each time it was after a new album release. But dear fucking god, there is no reason for 6 times. That just shows plain stupidity and why we have people in this world who sit out on the streets and beg for change, it's people like him who are the reason why we have hippies loitering our streets!! 2. U2 Ah yes good old Bono. Let's see when did the shit start flying with U2?? With the album The Joshua Tree I thought they were amazing. So much so that I made it a point to go out and see if I couldn't get a few albums from the store... then... whith sampleing songs and after a few downloads I came to the realization that these guys were even more fake than Coldplay. Two to three singles on every album keep these guys afloat and the rest of their songs are just floaters in my toilet. Has anyone actually gone for a U2 concert?? I haven't, you want to know why?? Because for the $150 it costs to get in a venue that has the capacity to hold Bono's ego errr i mean the performance... you're standing in someone else's piss near the port-o-johns a half mile away. I'd rather spend my money a little more wisely... like at the casino. 3. Nirvana Nirvana. The band responsible for the death of 80's hair metal. Fucking Assholes. They are the founders of what we would call modern day "emo" "screamo" and "xcore". So basically everytime you see some pale white teenager wearing nothing but black and could honestly be scared away by the scent of garlic, you have Kurt Cobain to thank for that. If not for the fact that he mysteriously showed up on the news because of his apparent suicide in 1994 the band wouldn't still be getting three tracks an hour on every damn rock station in the country. Not to mention that Nirvana and 2pac are the only musicians who can still have albums released almost a decade after their deaths but we won't 2pac overrated because he was the man from compton (and you know what's going to happen if i badmouth someone from compton). The coked out bastard and his wife (still coked out) had a kid... that kid's name... chad ciavarro. 4. Weezer Yes, Weezer. I mean they have a good sound and have made a couple solid albums. But they are not these entrapreneurs that everybody makes them out to be. Besides, who else but teenagers listen to Weezer?? No one. Want to know why?? Because the rest of us know what good music is. Not to mention the lack of talent in the band (outside Rivers) and the lack of creativity. I mean when you have half of your songs consisting of three different notes... we're going to have a problem calling you creative. 5. Madonna Madonna... goddam where do I start?? The original pop-diva-whore-slut-stillwannabangheranyway-girl. But musically... she was never good. I mean even when I'm in the 80's mood and toss on some of the 80's pop/synth none of her "music" is even worthy of making it on that list. If not for the multiple whore'd out videos and making out with britney spears on stage twenty years later... I don't think any of us would remember who the fuck she is. Just another wet dream that found someone to write her a techno beat to shake her ass to. Shake Shake Shake. 6. 50 cent The man is not the next Dr Dre. Speaking of Dr Dre... and Eminim I'd like to know if they were fully aware of the asshole they created, the asshole and the turds that follow it AKA G-unit. Not to mention somebody needs to tell the record and business execs that his music is mediocre, his life story is completely boring and that he made a completely shitty video gameNow don't get me wrong, I think he's an okay rapper, but jesus christ the man is nothing in comparison to Lil JON!! [or mike paquette] 7. Staind Aaron Lewis is the brains behind Staind. Unfortunately over the past five years his brain has turned into that of some other... less... creative people. The first album that really sold was Break the Cycle (which I own). Which was an allright CD. They had two dimensions and you found those dimensions in their singles like It's Been A While, Outside, and Fade. But then success went and made them suck, every song on their past three albums has been using the exact same formula and they still all get played on the radio at least twice an hour and it kills me. Start off with our slow guitar intro for twenty-six seconds and thennn NOW everyone starts playing and whiney boy comes in and sings about some fuckup in his life and it's just getting really old and uncreative. 8. Destiny's Child Now everybody knows Destiny's Child. At least we know only what we need to know. Beyonce. That's it, that's all. Make a porno and just call it quits goddamit. I don't need to hear the TLC formula used again to give us another five years of la-lalalala-la i dont want any assholes liking me but I'm still going to dress like a skank and shake my ass in your face and taunt you because you're about to become my bitch and I won't even need to put out cuz I'm "bootylicious" asshole. But she is Beyonce... 9. Limp Bizkit It's a little surprising that they actually made the list because the final 3 albums from Fred Dirst and company just blew ass. Which is precisely why they make the list. Despite sucking bigger donkey balls than a few fellow bloggers, the Bizkit was a solid band that had many unheardof songs that never made singles. "Rearranged" happens to still be a favorite of mine... but it all went downhill. We were given the likes of "Rollin" where 'what' is rhymed with only one other word... 'what' and 'care' and 'fuck up' are just a few more. I could write better. Who would ever ask Fred Dirst to do a soundtrack is beyond me.. hopefully with a new album in the works (it's been like 5 years hasn't it?) we can hope for more songs like Faith and Counterfeit. Don't get your hopes up. Fred Dirst is also directly responsible for #7 going way downhill. 10. The Rolling Stones I know that they have their fair share of hits and are world renouned and have travelled to every mass populated nook to put on a show. But you're all pushing 60. It's time to call it a career. Even Ozzie knows when to start toning it down as to wane yourself from the public eye and call it quits. Would the Stones take the hint?? No. Superbowl XL's halftime show was one of the worst displays of music I've ever seen in public (second to scott stapp). Soon they're going to be skeletons up on stage just playing over recordings... kinda like ms i can't sing or dance, Ashlee Simpson. |