Sep 30, 2006
So Strange
| how much you can despise yourself and convince yourself that you're better off just putting your head down and saying "fuck you" to everyone and everything around you. Then some moron can't take the hint and keeps trying to figure out what the hell your problem is, when in reality you'd like to just stand up, backhand the dumb fuck and scream "get the fuck away from me" just to make things the way you want them. Unfortunately I'm not good at conveying what I mean to people. So instead I slam my head on a table and spend the rest of my break with a slightly disorienting buzz whilst listening to my mp3 player. Alone. So strange how you can't help but feel a little better about yourself when you know someone's taking notice. Then remember how this seems to be cyclic and always ends in the same disappointingly crappy way. So instead, you completely avoid it. Knowing what it's going to do to your grades, pocketbook, and imagination by the time things are done with in a matter of weeks... months... or (if you get lucky) days. But you're too smart to fall for that, again. So you keep treading softly, never taking off your headphones, even in class, as to make sure a conversation can never pop up and you can never be sucked into some girl's idea of a "game". You can never be badmouthed to your entire family and be the last one to hear about it. You can never be so fucking astounded and crushed right after giving in to everything you swore you'd never do, just to have her throw it all in your face. That one hurts. The whole distance excuse is a pretty lame one too. So here's to breaking the cycle. Telling an extremely hot girl to "get the fuck away from me" loud enough to make security come running. Baby steps michael. Baby steps. Matchbox Twenty - Back to Good |
Sep 27, 2006
It's been so long...
and tin cans and strings for years, it's all that we've known:People always look on their past with doubt, regret, and fear. I always wonder why EVERYONE feels this way? Maybe it's because we're too conceited to realize that our choices we made seemed like the best ones at the time. Or maybe we forget that the choices that we made were not entirely up to us. Whatever the stipulation is, know that you cannot look back and say I wish I did that differently, I wish I had DONE it. When you look in the mirror and see you, only you, that makes it all clear. The choices that you've made, made you into the person that you are today. I know I've thought a lot about what my life would've been like if my father and my mother had actually gone through and stayed together. But then you must look at that and know that the rest of your life would not have been the same when you change something that drastic. I would've never moved to whitesboro, I would've never met the two best cousin's a guy could have (thanks matt & adam). I would've never fallen in love with a girl who helped me through the roughest time in my short life. I would've never wanted to go to Fredonia, I would've never found Allison, I never would find the perfect girl that I've always been wanting. I know all these things now because I can look back and say "yeah, I did that". Is there plenty more I could've done with my life, you bet. Am I particularly proud of myself for my actions over the past 19 years? Not all of them, but who is happy about everything in their life? Nobody. Regret is just a long winding staircase that leads to your own personal hell. Look at yourself now and know that somewhere out there, there's someone looking for you and only you. That no matter who it is (be it friend or lover) that what you've done in your past will shape your future actions and make you a better person because of it. Don't look back and wonder 'what if' there's too many things about you today that would change and you would never have the perspectives of suffering, the fear of loss, the thing that everyone calls loneliness (I call it solitude), or happiness. It takes a real man to know which is which, who is who, and why things come to pass the way they do. |
Sep 25, 2006
This Sucks
| Too sick to go to work Too sick to do homework Too sick to eat Too sick to sleep Too sick to be properly pissed off at Plaxico Burress for blowing the game today. Too sick to go to school tomorrow. Not too sick to come up with a lame ass blog post. Atreyu - Ex's and Oh's |
Sep 21, 2006
Your Grandmother
| Is a Nazi. The Playstation 3 is coming out very soon... I feel like I'm being left in the dust with all these new consoles (like always). But the biggest problem with all these next gen consoles is that they're looking to replace everything. Your DVD player, your computer, your Super Nintendo. By offering all the bells and whistles you could think of; not to mention they're trying to push "Blu-Ray" discs on the market... I smell a huge flop coming... you know, like A-tracs....? Laser Discs...? U2?!? Well, you get the point. So here is todays question: What's the most useless item you own and why?? (yes there is actually a paper to be written about this) Not to mention I have another assignment in history class... Keeping with the Anti-Semitic ways, it's going to be on the Spanish Inquisition. Damn right, kick those hook-noses out of the country!! Blues Traveler - All for You |
Sep 18, 2006
Television's Next Big Idea
| This week marks the five-year anniversary of the biggest sweeps stunt in the history of television. 9-11 was landmark television in every sense of the term, even inspiring a handful of movies and countless books on the subject. But it was both a blessing and a curse. The networks collaborated to bring us a spectacular event, but they may have blown their collective load. Or, to put it in TV terms, jumped the shark. TV since then has offered us very few, if any, amazing events. When Janet Jackson's exposed tit is the biggest event in half a decade of television, you've got problems. So to all the TV execs out there: get creative. I realize how hard it is to be original. I mean, it took you over 30 years to trump the moon landing with 9-11, but you can do it again. If all else fails, you can bring in a celebrity guest star to perpetrate a terrorist act. Just imagine how many viewers would tune in to see Al Pacino and Bob Saget fly a plane into the Empire State Building. Or, failing that, you could introduce the concept of terrorism as a game show. See how many targets a contestant could destroy in under a minute and, using text-messaging, make it interactive for the home viewer. People could vote on their favorite jihadist or suggest which structures they wish to see destroyed. The possibilities are endless. In more important news, Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray. Better known as the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin dedicated his life to not being killed by stingrays. He ultimately failed, but don't shed any tears for him. I'm sure he's hunting crocs in heaven right now. And a few minutes from now God will see what else is on. The Sleeping - Don't Hold Back |
Sep 15, 2006
Coincidence?
  I don't think so. |
Sep 14, 2006
Sad Little World
| So... whoever said "guns kill people" is a total idiot. I do think there has to be an unstable, mentally deficient, borderline psychotic, sociopath to do such a thing. But it's one thing to pick on the mentally unstable youth that really do have mental problems, or pick on the wannabees (emo kids). There's very few things that are worse than not helping the mentally unstable with their situation. One of them is cursing, condemning, and shitting on them once they've finally gone off the deep end and do something stupid. In this case we have something that is classified as Worse. Well obviously suburbia is the perfect place to groom rampage artists and mass murderers. Look out world. So here's his final live-journal entry and what people think about him and his actions. I'm more appauled by these assholes leaving comments then I am about him shooting up his school. Is there nothing sacred anymore? He's dead, there's no reason to badmouth him. It's the ultimate act of cowardice, even worse than what he did. Black Label Society - In This River |
Sep 13, 2006
Bloody Knuckles
 So this is when you realize you're getting old. I'm walking out of class... and this shithead standing outside with his buddies looks at me... then just blurts out "HAHA HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE THAT IDIOT'S SHIRT?" I'm above that... at least that's what I told myself. But doucheboy doesn't stop, "I blogged your mom, what an idiot" (insert 12 year old laughter) I'm holding no books, one notebook and 12 hours of classes; no mood for anyone's bullshit. What's the natural thing to do? Stop Drop Swing. So after I deck doucheboy, I finally get a good look at him and his friends... straight up out of... middle school. At least he looked it while his eyes were watering and he was clutching the side of his head. Forgive me, for I didn't stick around to see what happened next. Chevelle - The Clincher |
Sep 11, 2006
You Suck
| Music Theory... how gay is thee? I have to make a recording of.... any noise that has an indefinite pitch. Which is easy enough. But then I have to score it in any fashion I want. Which is even better, except that I suck at decision making... Any last minute suggestions are welcome while I eat some Mac & Cheese Metallica - Anesthesia (pulling teeth) |
Sep 9, 2006
C4
| People are replacable. It's a weird concept, but it works. Everyone in your life is easily replaced at one turning point or another. Friends grow apart, some fore the better (most of them not). You shove them aside for someone more "in-tune" with you. Lovers get boring, it happens. Relatives get annoying; those significant others slowly but surely are substituted for today's obsession. Sometimes it's blogging, maybe going to work, video games, movies, bass playing, music, walks in the dark, or those crappy cartoons you've already seen a hundred times... maybe, if you're lucky you can get some alcohol. Face it already, you've done of of these to forget someone you've left behind. But no matter what you do, that person is still only two mouse-clicks away from barging back into your life and replacing all those bad habits. If you sat back and thought about all those faked handshakes, empty hugs, regretfull kisses, one-night fucks that you've failed to keep in touch with, you'd realize you owe more of who you are to these people than anyone else, even yourself. Maybe one day you'll figure this out and just maybe you'll start your apologies with me, then I will start my apologies with you. Dog's Eye View - Everything Falls Apart |
Sep 7, 2006
Today
| I saw a fat chick on a moped. A woman with a beard, eating a taco, driving a Ford 250 superduty. Verizon Online sucks and crapped out yesterday... didn't come back on til around midnight, to my dismay. Football kicks off tonight, beer is in the fridge. That is all. |
Sep 6, 2006
Next...
| Iceland is going to start selling WHALEMEAT to the world... looks like Chad's mom is no longer safe. What's next? Canada... you guys should get on selling sealmeat! The hell with turkey on Thanksgiving, let's just cut the shit and go for some bald eagle. I bet you it tastes alot better than it's retarded cousin does. Penguin will be made available around Christmas. So what endangered animal should we slap a Kosher sticker on next? Jimmy Eat World - Sweetness |
Sep 4, 2006
Contrast:
| The Worst Music Video Ever: The Greatest Music Video Ever: |
Sep 3, 2006
This Is The Greatest Show Ever
 Yes, I'm watching Super Group. If this qualifies as a reality show... I will admit defeat in saying that all reality television sucks. But I'm sorry, when you have Ted Nugent on network television... some shit's going down and you have created a television show that kicks the shit out of any pop sensation. Former Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach and Anthrax's Scott Ian team up with drummer (Led Zeppelin heir) Jason Bonham and Biohazard's Evan Seinfeld... let's see, legends of the 80's and 90's... vs clay aiken and kelly clarkson. There's a celebrity deathmatch coming from all of this... I can see it now. I think this is the best television show dedicated to music since... pop up video.  Does anyone else remember that? I know you do. It was the greatest music video concept ever. What better than to play music videos with useless information popping up over the lamest production ideas ever?? Nugent, Bach, Scotty, Bonham and the talented Seinfeld, that's what. Trust Company - The War is Over |
Sep 1, 2006
Fool's for Schools
| This time last year I'm pretty sure I was bitching about financial aid problems and how they screwed me over. This year. I could give a fuck less, I'm going to school for free. So far I've been to all my classes (other than "raquet sports") that I'm going to have for the entire semester... and this is going to be a fucking cake walk. Either that, or I'm going to be dumbed down quite a bit. I felt so much smarter when I first got to school in Fredonia... I feel like I've been doing high school reports all over again. Oh wait a minute. History class went smooth today, APA format... what the hell is that? Seriously. I don't think it's ever used... except for this asshole, it's a fucking way of life. Just change it to AP-GAY and call it a day please OK? Two days of history class and I've yet to hear anything about history... Toughest class this semester: Music Theory. Meanwhile, back in the real world... President Bush is going around campaigning for his Iraq policy... it's not really a policy... nor is it a plan... it's more of a.. "we're doing this and that's final". I have a bad feeling about all of this. I'm going to be 25 and we're still going to be there, and it's still going to be the same shit happening. Operation Extreme Redundancy is underway. Why can't we ever get a good Republican running for office? Like Strom.. or Arnold?? Right now I would love to see McCain run with Pataki as his V.P. there's a team I'd vote for. RUDY RUDY RUDY RUDY Giuliani... we'd be so lucky. But no, instead, we're going to get to see Jeb Bush, a right wing nut job and Anne Coutler run. I don't know what's more disturbing. Knowing that another Bush is going to be elected, or knowing that the Democratic party is full of a bunch of retards who can't do anything for even their own good. Maybe we'll get to see Kerry Yes/NO v2.0? Please god not him again... Maybe Gore will run again.. it was all Tipper's fault he lost in 2000, you knew that right? Hilary! Save us all!! Clinton for President! Because maybe then SHE CAN MOVE OUT OF NEW YORK AND QUIT THE FUCKING SHARADE; I'VE DONE MORE FOR THE STATE GOVERNMENT THAN SHE HAS. Someone... please... anyone... explain to me what the hell is happening to politics in America?? Hootie and the Blowfish - I Go Blind |