Apr 29, 2007
With A Beautiful Word
| I remember being back at school. It was spring but there was still snow on the ground. It had just warmed up long enough for people to start spending a little more time outside rather than just sprinting to class and then back to their dorm rooms. I loved going for walks. There's nothing like them. No matter the destination, there doesn't even have to be one, hell, that's half the fun. We talked it over and decided we wanted to go for a walk and then eat. So we went downtown. Playing in and near traffic is always an adventure. There was so much pushing and shoving it was amazing we're both still alive. Though she had the advantage, there were no moving vehicles on her side, just a ton of sewage water to be pushed into. We went in and sat down. She insisted she pay for her own meal... I never quite got why women act so persistent and then claim chivalry is dead... but I wasn't having it. We ate and walked/ran/dodged traffic to get across the street. We just messed around in Wal*Mart for a little while, waiting for the drunk bus to drive us back to campus. Walking through Fredonia after dark in March was never a picnic. At least when you were drunk it'd seem like an insanely short distance. But alas, we were sober and both under-aged. We missed the bus. We had to wait another hour before it came around again. I can't remember what we did to pass that time so quickly. We caught it the next time it came around. She grabbed me by the hand as we climbed up the steps. She was the boss. Whatever she wanted, she got. She picked the seat in the very back. How original. But it's not like her, she's shy and she's not that adventurous. She doesn't take risks unless they're calculated. And then she sat down. Sat me down right next to her. Made me put my arm around her. And kissed me. She didn't stop. It seemed like the bus was traveling at the speed of light because before I knew it we were stopped... but it wasn't ours so she pulled me back in and wouldn't let go. I couldn't have let go if I wanted to. I didn't. I don't think I've ever kissed or been kissed like that ever. It was just pouring everything into it. Every last bit of lust, passion and what I hoped would become love. Crap, this is our stop already. I went to get up and help her up. She wouldn't let me let go. She pulled me in harder, tighter, wanting to stay there. I wanted to stay there. But it was called the drunk bus, not the make out bus. I barely got the words out of my mouth between our lips, "C'mon this is us." She looked so.... angelic. I think that's the word I want to use. She just giggled in that stupid little way she always does. She made me feel like she didn't want to move. I know I didn't want to but in unison we started to move towards the front of the bus and the driver started to take off again. I had to stop him and he grumbled some senseless garble that I didn't care about. I had her hand in mine and we walked back into her dorm. We climbed into bed together. I told her I was falling in love with her. I tell her every day I love her. Rush - Good News First |
Apr 26, 2007
Reach
| It's strange. How eclectically naive people like to be. We had a discussion about the Harlem Renaissance and the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s. How things have improved. How society has become more understanding of the groups we once oppressed. I called bullshit. Ever notice how over the past century we've always had someone to prey on? How there's always been a specific group to blame for all the nation's woes until things were so bad that they didn't have anyone to blame but themselves? 1900s - Big business 1910s - Introduction of Hollywood into mainstream society 1920s - Flappers/women's rights 1930s - Great Depression (woops we're fucked, nobody to blame this time) 1940s - Them damned Japs bombed us for no apparent reason 1950s - Fucking Commies and their damned upside down toast. 1960s - African Americans want equal rights... 1970s - Let's shit on our own soldiers who are just taking orders from a shitpacked government trying to overextend itself 1980s - Columbians and their drugs and the whole "effort" to clean up the epidemic they were causing 1990s - Blowjobs 2000s - Apparently we affectionately call them cameljockeys, towelheads, so on and so forth. Who knows, soon we might turn it back on orientals thanks to Virginia Tech [a whole different can of worms to open some other time] We're so fucking tolerant. "Things have improved". Call it progress if you want. Call it anything you want but the sad truth is nothing's changed. We still look for a scapegoat. Then when we see the scapegoat angle taken to an extreme we act so surprised and appauled to see 8 million Jews turned into slaves for Hitler. We do it every day. We do it in more stringent manners, we do it so when we look in the mirror the next morning we don't feel bad. We call it capitalism, we call it looking out for #1, we call it societal neglect. But only if you're smart about it. We do it all the time, we'll always do it. We'll always claim a workhorse and a scapegoat. The aristocracy of rich old white anglo-saxon protestants demands it. Until we conjur up a revolution to change these rich bastards controlling everyone all the time we'll never have the chance to move forward. We'll just continue to move from side to side. Blaming anyone who looks or acts in any way noticeably different from the rest of us. But it's understandable that we hate the French. Silvertide - Devil's Daughter |
Apr 23, 2007
Teetering
| I almost snapped in class today. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep I've endured, the exceedingly long weekend at work, the stress of NO schools I sent transcripts to getting them, the stress of having a few research papers to do and a presentation on Thursday when I haven't even gathered any sources yet... then there's the lab report due Wednesday that I'm going to have to beg for an extension on because there's just no way I can get it done on time. Then there's the whole gun control issue being brought to the forefront of every media outlet and it's all anyone can talk about in school or on television (I wish the Rangers > Sabres series would just start). Now, my English teacher had a heart attack and will most likely be out for the entire semester. So we have some bitch who is taking his place who can't teach worth a lick. Her idea of education is having the black kids in class read the part of the black guy in the story's lines out loud. Her idea of education is comparing the plight of the early 1900s black community to that of Jews throughout history. Me, being the nut that I am and writing a 17 page paper on the oppression of Jews just a little more than a year ago wanted to go at her with repartee, but the person that knows me best in that class just shook their head at me as if to say "it's not even worth it". I guess it's not. Oh and just for the record, only Jews live in Israel, existentialism is a sin, singling out people in class should be encouraged and stereotypical assumptions are not only acceptable but also encouraged. Deftones - Digital Bath |
Apr 21, 2007
Last Chance
| Somebody came to the store today... bought some things like they all do... paid like they all do... left like they all do... but this fool left his/her keys on the counter... I walk out into the parking lot to hand back some stressed out person their keys... and nobody's there. I press the panic, unlock door, buttons on the starter still on the keychain and nothing... how do you leave your keys and still drive home without them!?!?!?!? Another weird recant of 4/20 and my biology teacher finally learned my girlfriend's name, after all, it only took him a month of calling me LAWRENCE to figure out my real name. |
Apr 20, 2007
Congratulations
| Today's 4/20 I'm not celebrating. I'm working until 11pm. I still have two research papers due within the next week. It sucks because my American Literature teacher was extremely cool and he didn't mind if it came in a little late. But, like I said, life likes to fuck us all over. He had a mild heart attack and has to sit in the hospital until the weekend and then can return to teaching a week or two after that. So now we have this hindu bitch who, instead of being considerate, just decides she'll change around due dates and what we're going to cover for the rest of the year. Instead of asking where we are with what we were outlined to read (we're on like week 5 and it's actually week 11) so she jumps straight into this story which none of us in the class has the slightest clue what it is and we're all really hoping for a speedy recovery for Uncle Riddy. He's the only Mic that will talk your ear off but you'll actually be interested the whole time. Mando Diao - The New Boy |
Apr 19, 2007
This Fucking Community College
| THEY FUCKING LOST BOTH TRANSCRIPTS THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO SEND IN JANUARY TO ADMISSIONS OFFICES AT FREDONIA AND PLATTSBURGH I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE FUCKING IDIOTS. I finally cut the shit and excuses. I busted my ass and got the grades I needed to get back in and you pencil pushing penis polishers fucked it up. I send transcripts and applications months ago and I come to find out that because you're goddam incompetent my education is going to suffer. I've never been more pissed off at one person, group, or organization in my life. I finally have my shit in gear and life goes and circumstantially fucks me This has me in tears and I can't even put into words how much it hurts to have my future come tumbling down on top of me when it seems like things were so fucking close. Everything was moving in the right direction and quicker than the fucking tide at night it was all swept away because someone else who could care less. Thrice - Stare at the Sun |
Apr 16, 2007
I'm an Eyesore to Nature
     But the only place she isn't an eyesore is at a tangerine farm. |
Apr 13, 2007
Tick Tock
| I've now been unemployed for two weeks. I can say with confidence that this will not sit well the the parents. The worst part is, even if I hadn't gotten fired, I still wouldn't be able to go in to work with all the school shit I have to do in the next week or so. Not to mention how I still haven't received my last paycheck yet... maybe I'll start selling my school books now; I still haven't even cracked my General Biology book out of the plastic yet. There's just no point the thing's useless as his notes are that thorough. Speaking of school, the assholes make me pay $10 to send transcripts and I get a notice saying that the school never got them. So I take it up with the office and they supposedly sent them again... until I get another notice saying that they still don't have transcripts... so here we are, midApril, and no transcripts to evaluate me for acceptance, probably no spots left in the department anyways. It's strange how there's always something there to fuck things up at the last second. Like the movie says: Sometimes, fate just... fate just up-and-fucks you for no good reason. That the way'a the world! The way it's always gonna be. Alright then, peace bro. Pink Floyd - Money |
Apr 11, 2007
Under the Heel
| Seems like these days censorship runs deeper than just the government eh? Keep him on a short leash Viv. and now here's 4 minutes of idiots dancing and hearing me whilst drunk, enjoy. EDIT: I knew that this semester was going to be no cake walk. I have so much to do for my Biology classes and so much riding on the next week's worth of tests/lab reports I think I'm going to fold under the pressure. I also have to go out into nature and find natural occurrences of interaction between plants and animals, take photos, and write three pages. That's just Science; my English classes I have a one pager due Monday, a 7 pager due May 7th, a 8 pager on Dostoevsky due in a week or so (plus a presentation on the paper) along with a take home all essay exam. Have fun at Coachella you fucking losers. Smile Empty Soul - Bottom of a Bottle |
Apr 9, 2007
Embers Fly
| There's just some songs that are completely ruined for me now. They have meanings and strings attached to them that I get vivid flashbacks of those days/nights/mornings it scares me a little bit. So here's a story about one of these songs: Lostprophets - Last Summer My first ex-girlfriend was actually kinda cool about things, I still considered her a friend and she asked if I could pick her up from work one day, I said sure, then I joked about working there with her. She gave me an application. I filled it out. I got the job working at the Arches. It was strange to say the least... every girl there kinda had a schtick for me and it was really obvious for some of them. But I wasn't really into the whole get a girlfriend scene at the time. Apparently going to see a movie and just hanging out was out of the question for these girls because they all tried to make moves and it was just extremely weird that they'd try when they all knew I was not in the mood for a relationship just before I left for college. So it turns out that being a "friend" with these girls was obviously not going to be a decision they were willing to accept. So I left the place. Still barely kept in touch with those crazy crazy people, high school graduation time and one actually invites me to her party... (really feeling awkward about this) but I went anyways (who can turn down free booze?). So I show up and it's the usual fake smiles and hugs, etc. Everyone has too many beers, too many laughs and then there came me getting stepped on (literally) the crotch. So I'm in no mood for any more games and so ensues me trying to find a place to pass out. In the endeavor the host female of the party tries to lure me into her room and I was luckily saved by the girl that always showed the least interest in me (but we still had a few memorable moments). Apparently it takes Catholic girls 4 beers to finally unwind and say exactly what they mean. So basically everyone gets pissed off because me and her went back to my car and ended up talking until 5am (it was mostly talking I think). So the sun is coming up, it's a great summer morning on the countryside, I hit a random golf shot down the street with my driver and the CD happened to be in the player. Windows were down, shades were on, that bitch still had that HORRIBLE SMIRK ON HER FACE THE WHOLE RIDE BACK THAT I STILL HATE TO THIS DAY! |
Apr 5, 2007
Gambling
| This story made me think there's a little bit of hope for corporate America, I'm not holding my breathe though. This story made me laugh. It's hard to think that when a ship full of military personnel "accidentally" got caught inside the border of a nation that has been increasingly hostile with all western powers it's come into contact with. The British government claims that the ship was off course from it's Iraqi water... who cares what the excuse is; it was where it shouldn't be. Iranian military took them into custody and all of a sudden they become Prisoners of War. I don't quite understand it. We're at war with Iran already? Or maybe it's just that the American Media never got it right from the start? Maybe the propaganda machine here in the U.S. is bigger than we thought. The only person noble enough to point it out on a national scale is a CIA agent who was turned in by her own government because of who she was married to. There are some people that are patriots. There are some people that are willing to do what it takes and fight for the right of their country to live peacefully, there are those that have no choice, and there are those that are willing to take advantage of the lower economic classes' sacrifices just to put them down even further when they come back missing appendages, sacrificing their chance at a normal life and can't even properly recover in a hospital because our government is that neglectful. There are some people that are patriots. There are some people who say they are patriots, there are other people that prove they are patriots every day. Every person who pays taxes every year so our government can overstretch it's bounds on a daily basis are patriots; but those that fail to care or try to mold what our government does with that money and the power we entrust them with are not. But just so long as you don't interrupt the 9 to 5 and the five networks running Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond repeats nobody will care what goes on or who does what. Things are going to get much worse before they get any better. But what do I know... I'm unemployed! Stratovarius - Fight!!! |
Apr 4, 2007
Yawn
| Went to my Ecology lab... door's locked, nobody's there. Never told us that we had another class onsite at a recycling center, dump, zoo, water board, swamp. So I'll just sit here for two hours.......................... |
Apr 3, 2007
I Can't Explain It
| It's just a feeling that makes me feel alive. Whether it's good or bad is left to be seen. Well, it's obviously bad to be unemployed; it's another thing to be fat greasy and unemployed. So Chad, congrats on only being fat and greasy these days but you only have me beat on two of those fronts now. I'm in love with a girl who steals my stuff. I'm in love with Journey too... damn 80's music. Journey - Wheel in the Sky |
Apr 1, 2007
D2V2
| So today is a crappy Sunday filled with rain and dreary CNY weather... read this but tonight... oh tonight. Wrestlemania, Vince McMahon or Donald Trump gets their head shaved. Opening Night for baseball with the New York Mets taking on the St. Louis Cardinals. and last but not least, the New York Rangers trouncing the Toronto Maple Leafs. But which one should I watch??? and don't just read it, live by it. Edit: Pitt made the news! |